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TOEFL:Drivers should pay fees so that they can be permitted to drive out in traffic busy time?

songlingyu 1 / -  
Oct 10, 2014   #1
As we all know, every big city has a common problem--the traffic jam. Finding a way to assuage the pressure of the transportation is necessary and urgent. I agree with the statement that drivers should pay certain fees if they want to drive out in the traffic busy time.

This way can benefit those who pay the fees. If this policy takes effect, many people will choose not to drive by themselves but to take public transports. In this way, the number of the cars in the road will decrease so that the traffic can be not so heavy. Take me for an example, the school is far away from my home about 15 kilometers long and it can take me about more than an hour to get there. What's more, there is no subway around my neighbor so I have to drive to my school. But if the cars on the road can be declined, I will drive at a relative high speed and it can save much time to read books or other many things. Therefore, I prefer to pay the fee because that's worthwhile.

Besides, it can also benefit those who not pay the fees. In order to save money, people who live not so far from their school or company are likely to take bus. Because of the decreasing of cars, bus can also raise speed. In this way they will spend less time on the road and it is much cheaper than driving a car due to the high oil price. When I was in high school, the school was just 4 kilometers from my home. I went there by car in 10 minutes and by bus it just taking me 15 minutes. If the bus can have a higher speed, the time spending on the road of driving and taking bus is not obviously. Hence, those who not pay the fees can have a cheaper but fast way of transportation.

In my opinion, drivers paying fees in the traffic busy time is a good idea. Not only those who have to drive a car to company can save much time, but also the others can have a cheaper transportation. It benefit both two sides.

vangiespen - / 4,140 1449  
Oct 10, 2014   #2
Song, I will provide comments and revisions to your paper below. Please use them as a guide in your revision.

- This is a very good way of blending the essay prompt with your opinion on the matter. Excellent work.

- This type of policy has a number of benefits in terms of gains from the fines collected. People will be encouraged to take public transportation during rush hours, thus decreasing the number of cars on the street and automatically lessening traffic. Decongestion due to the removal of private cars will result in an easier and faster commute time.

- Save your opinion for the later portion of the paper.

- This is the same reason that you gave above, only told in a different manner. Thus creating a redundancy. . Use a different reason, such as building up the government funds for more road rehabilitation and infrastructure projects. You need to change your discussion per paragraph.

- Your conclusion is weak because your reasons to support it are weak. Tighten and improve your reasons so that we can also improve upon your concluding statement.

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