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IELTS 2 "Are drug companies obliged to sponsor poor countries to reduce death rates"


mhss 18 / 53 18  
Apr 1, 2013   #1
Please help me with iths IELTS Essay

Many people in the undeveloped world die from diseases that are curable because they can't afford the medication to treat themselves. Do you believe that drug companies in the developed world should be obliged to make their products available at reduced prices in these undeveloped countries so that people do not die unnecessarily.

You should write at least 250 words.

It is a well-known fact that the death rates are high in third world countries as opposed to well-off. It is argued that high death rates can be reduced with the availability of drugs to a low cost sponsored by multi-drug companies as they make huge profits. However, it is a gray area whether drugs per say would be able to stop people dying, as diseases may not the only reason for their high mortality rate. Having considered both aspects, I firmly believe that such act will not be successful for being unidirectional.

There are a number of reasons as to why people in developing countries are dying.
The most important being the hunger, accounted more than 60% of death rates in Africa.
In addition, there are certain rites and rituals attached to traditions, which bring threats to lives of children. For instance, a baby girl born in India is considered evil and is deliberately killed to gain success to the family and in the same way, circumcisions are done in large scale under unhygienic conditions and would be lethal with over whelming infections.

On the other hand, people have no faith on western medicine as they indulge in their native remedies. Moreover, some of the diseases are highly prevalent, and discontinuation and haphazard use of drugs may cause resistance to the disease. This can be shown by the high drug resistant strains of malaria in African countries. For these reasons it may not be possible to see a success in the proposed act.

Nevertheless, there remain some arguments in favor of the positive aspect of the act. As some of these drug companies are highly profitable, spending on drugs in third world countries is just nothing for them. Further, some companies sponsor a lot of activities related to fun and recreations and this can be effectively diverted to needy people in the other part of the world. However, funding on drugs may not solve this issue for the prevailing strong hardships in the counter aspect.

In conclusion, high mortality rate in developing countries may not be responded to the act highlighted, as the issues in the third world should be approached in a multidisciplinary way.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 4, 2013   #2
It is a well-known fact that the death rates are high in third world countries as opposed to well-off.

.... Very impressive start :)

It is argued that high death rates can be reduced with the availability of drugs toat a low cost sponsored by multinational drug companies as they make huge profits.

.... when you say mulit-drug, it means multiple drugs and it does not refer to multinational companies who are engaged in pharmaceutic businesses. So you better use the term "multinational drug companies" .

It's a very good introduction. You introduce your topic well and briefly give us the sense of your reasons as to why you hold such an opinion. Good job!

I feel you better follow the essay format here. Have everything in one para.
Very good essay and you would surely go for a very good band :)
I wish you become a contributor. Please let us know if you are interested :)
OP mhss 18 / 53 18  
Apr 5, 2013   #3
Hi dumi,
It is a great pleasure for me for being invited to this blog . I am happy to accept the offer, and it will be a great privilege for me to comment as a contributor.

Once again, thanks a lot.

mhss.


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