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Drug users rehabilitation is highly acceptable as their case can be resolved in that way.

ilankelo21 36 / 41 22  
Feb 20, 2016   #1
Should drug addicts be jailed or rehabilitated? Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Some people say that drug users should be punished by sending them to the jail, but some argue they are the victims and should be helped by treating them in rehabilitation board. While imprisoning them is taught to give quick solution as they are hindered from accessing illegal drugs, I believe that rehabilitation is highly acceptable as the truly case can be solved.

It is argued that people who are addicted to illegal drug should be under custody. This is due to when using narcotics they have already broken the stated rule and this policy also will give them deterrent effect to not involve the same crime. Taking a well-known Indonesian artist, Roy Marten as example, when undertaking his days in the jail, he was prevented to access any illegal drugs. However, I tend to believe that this policy will not overcome the truly problem as people who are addicted are more likely to re-involve to their previous activity after free from the indictment.

Aside from the aforementioned discussion, sending the drug users in rehabilitation process is considered to solve problem. Since what the addicts experience during rehabilitated activity will cure the patients from drug addiction. A current study conducted by several medical students in Illinois University found that 75% of people who involved in narcotics will be back in normal life after experiencing rehabilitation for particular time. By this, I argue this method is more preference due to the fact that the problem can be solved in root case and people who are addicted can be totally free from narcotics.

In conclusion, although jailing people who are addicted can break their inclination from using illegal drugs, I am more likely to believe rehabilitating the addicts is more accepted as the root problem can be dealt with. Where possible the government should prioritize this logical way in eradicating drug-using issue.
indah_hai 19 / 38 4  
Feb 20, 2016   #2
Hi iIankelo21..

Well Done!! I think your writing is well organized and answered the thesis statement..
Keep it up!
and here it is the grammar missing the verb
Where is possible the government should prioritize ...
putri22 33 / 33 5  
Feb 20, 2016   #3
hi ilham,
actually i like your essay. the idea is good and the flow is easy to follow but let me give some suggestions to make it better.

in the first body, i think the example is not strong enough to support your main idea. you argue that by sending the addicts to the jail cannot solve the main problem since they may back to their previous habit as a drug addict. the example of roy marten is not really clear, you just said that he was sent to the jail so he could not access the narcotics again. it is better if you give the example by adding extra information that the addicts was back to use the drug after being imprisoned.

also, i saw several times that you used "due to" followed by subject + verb. "due to" is preposition so it should be followed by object of preposition (noun, noun phrase, gerund, etc). you can use because/since/as/for.

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