Hello ching tang
isWAS an incredible (...) further part-time learning than full-time learning .
1. WAS ---> PAST TENSE, because it is in 1970 to 1991
2. avoid REPETITION , because when you say only part-time, people can still know because you already mention before
On the other hand, the chart tells us THAT the numbers of men in part-time education
decrease comparedFLUCTUATED, BETWEEN 1970 AND 1991
3. Add connector "that"
4. Please make sure you input the CORRECT DATA, the number of men is not increase in those years, it's fluctuate