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Early education boosts creativity, although it can bring detrimental effect on mentality development


nurannisaputry92 36 / 27 2  
Apr 1, 2016   #1
In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight.

How far do you agree with either of these views?


As it is commonly understood, Some communities in some territorial suggest their child to start formal education at four years old due to enhance the development of brain while other believe that children do not allows to attend formal school after having appropriate age to accept the lesson because of maturity. I personally agree with statement above because students who have young age will be difficult to run the system.

Children who encourage joining formal school at four years will accelerate the motor system of brain. This is because they have strong memory to memorize the word or lesson. For example, according to UNICEF, 15 of 23 pupils have brilliant idea which is more creative and imaginative due to the fact that their parents ask them to enter the formal school at very young age. Undoubtedly, having young age in the school can stimulate the ingenuity of child.

On the other hand, young generation who have proper age to school such as seven years are easily to accept the material that teacher give because they tend to can distinguish the different between bad behaviour and good, and also teachers are effortlessly to guide them to be more active in class. For instance, more than 74% children in India are discipline with regulation that teacher applied in school. As a result, most of them are dominant and superior in class which is success to achieve their goal. It is impressive that the younger age can affect the system of teacher guidance in which kids can decide the best choice to have excellent characteristic to enhance their quality.

In addition, I personally agree that toddlers aged 4 years old who enter elementary school will influence the mentality of students to accept the lesson. For example, based on UNFPA survey, the majority of the age between 4 and 5 still do not have self-control or self-regulation. Consequently, more than two-thirds toddlers fail in the class which tend to be stubborn by ignoring advises from teachers. It is evident that it is not effective to increase their mental development.

To sum up, although encouraging individual in early age boosts creativity, I personally believe that it will bring detrimental effect on mentality development

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Apr 1, 2016   #2
Hi Nur, I would like to share my thoughts on your essay and honestly, it's quiet confusing, you have a lot of words that is not in the places they're suppose to be and a lot of ideas all over the place. However, this is not a bad thing, writing this essay only goes to show that you are determined in learning the language and making use of it, in order to express your ideas. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of work to do so let's start.

- s ome communities in some territorial suggest
- that their child
- to start a formal
- duein order to enhance
- others believe that
- children do not allowsare not allowed to attend
- formal school and only after havingan appropriate age
- will they be allowed to accept
- the lessonsbecause of maturitywhen they are mature enough .
- I personally agree with the statement
- haveare young
- age will be difficult to rununderstand the system.

There you have it, as you can see, this is just the first paragraph and it's almost a total revision, as mentioned, it is a great act of perseverance that will make you better in writing. I suggest that you rewrite the essay. following the above corrections.
La Baso 15 / 22  
Apr 3, 2016   #3
dear writer.

As it is commonly understood, S some communities in some territorial suggest their child to start formal ...

I personally agree with statement above because youngest students who have young age will be difficult to run the system.

This is because due to the fact that they have strong memory to ... I think it is better to put those words :)

young generation who have proper age to school such ==== I have read in Cambridge dictionary that the word "generation" is countable if you are going to singular better if "young generation who has proper age to school such.... or young generations who have ./.......

keep writing. overall, it is totally good :)
nelarizka79 16 / 21 1  
Apr 3, 2016   #4
As it is commonly understood, Some communities in some territorial suggest (...) years old due to enhance the development of brain while other believe that children do not allows to attend formal school after having ...

Children who encourage joining formal school at four years ...

On the other hand, young generation who have proper age to school such as seven years are easily...

It would be better if you write it like this.

some
several
enhancing
brain, while
allowed
encouraged
to go to school


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