Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generations, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays the discussion about whether the businesses are supposed to prescribe the retirement age at fifty-five to offer more job vacancies for younger generation has become a controversy. Some believe that is a perfect attempt to support the young, others claim that this is not the case. 47
Admittedly, encouraging the workers to retire at age of fifty-five to release the positions for younger job seekers has some merits. Firstly, fresh graduates are likely to bring a number of practical and applicable ideas to meet the current needs of the organisation. This is because they have been instilled and imparted the most updated knowledge and skills at universities. Secondly, having a larger proportion of young adults could enhance the working effectiveness and efficiency. Compared with aged staffs, younger employees are often physically stronger and energetic which enables them to carry out heavy workload to meet the deadline. 99
However, sacrificing the senior members to save the young workers poses several negative influences. From personal level, it fosters a sense of unfairness between the older and younger generations. It is undeniable that every person within the business enterprise has the rights to proceed their work as long as they are capable of doing it, disregard the age and physical capacity. From social perspective, massively forcing the early retirement would be one of financial burden to the local government. For example, sufficient pension payments and regular medical care should be given and arranged for the senior citizens after they have been imposed to terminate their employment permanently. 109
In conclusion, even though the introduction of the early retirement has some benefits, it is convincing that it would generate a sense of discrimination among different age groups and increase the government financial pressure accordingly. 35 / 289
HI , you wrote nicely the 1st three paragraphs. I suppose conclusion is not clear
Hi there,
Thank you. I often write my conclusion this way. Any suggestions to improve me conclusion?
Cheers
Hi xyx0905,
I'm no an IELTS or English teacher bu i think there are some things that could improve your writing task 2:
Paragraph 1
In my opinion, you have to support one of that views, whether you agree or disagree with that statement.
Many companies encourage employees to leave their position at the age of 55 especially in top or managerial positions. In fact, many employees have been laid off in order to give opportunities to the new generation. However,i slightly disagree with the idea of the employees leaving at the age 55 to make room for the upcoming generation.
Thank you. I rarely use "I" in my introduction to state my opinion. But my position was already established in the Introduction. "Others claim." As far as I know, academic writing is supposed to avoid "I" as much as you can to prevent your writing become too subjective for the reader.
Cheers
Hi xyx0905,
I am sorry to say that I have to agree with DENNISHA in some sense. I think it won't hurt to have a few "I" in your writing, say 1 or 2. Too objective is not a good thing, but overly subjective is neither. Using "I" could state your viewpoint clearly.
Thank you for your message. It is undeniable some IELTS examiners prefer to read a clear objective essay rather a subjective. I prefer to avoid "I" at least in my introduction. Cheers
