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Earning capacity of successful SPORTS professionals Vs OTHER professionals


dragosp 2 / 2  
Jun 12, 2013   #1
Successfully sports professionals cand eanr a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinon.

During the ages, sports professionals were treated more like heroes thanks to their ability to perfom a larger amount of physical effort. It it generally know that an athlete earns more money than a normal person. In the past this payment was justified because athletes used to play all with one's heart, but nowadays things are quite different, because the passion for game is lost, and the only target of the athletes is to earn more and more.

On one hand, I am convinced that there are still some athletes who play and train with passion, trying to develop a gratefully career based on motivation and tough exercise, placing the financial issues in the background. Well I strongly believe that these kind of persons deserve all the admiration and appreciation.

On the other hand, I am inclined to believe that there is another category of sports professionals, who are motivated only by money and material benefits. In this case there is no passion, no connection between the athlete and the audience, and the money that are paid are unjustified. For example a football player, which is kept on the bench as a sub does not deserve his money, because he prefer to pretend himself injuriend, being exempted from doing effort.

Taking everything into consideration I tend to belive that being an athlete is more like an honor, and this thing should be treated with more responsibility and gratitude.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 12, 2013   #2
DuringOver the ages, sports professionals were treated more like heroes thanks to their ability to perfomperform a larger amount of physical effort.

" thanks to their ability to perform larger amount of physical effort" - this part does not make any sense and certainly not add any value for your essay.

It itis generally known that an athlete earns more money than a normal person.professional .

... This essay is about professionals and not about ordinary people.
You need to pay attention to your essay structure, building meaningful sentences, vocabulary and grammar.
marecrowley 3 / 23 2  
Jun 12, 2013   #3
I think you definitely need to double check this for grammatical errors; there are a fair amount of blantant[i][/i] ones which do not reflect well in regards to admissions. Also, I would like to see more of your own voice penetrating through. This seems like a very generic response; anyone can say what you said. However, if you gave examples, whether personal or just in general, I feel that this would greatly improve the essay. As aforementioned, relook at the structure of the essay. Make sure you, as an individual, come across in your response, while also fully answering the question. Remember, why are you unique? What makes you so special that the schools you are applying to want to let you in rather than another student.


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