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TOEFL - 'earning money became one of the main goals'


eradulova 7 / 14  
Mar 12, 2012   #1
Is it better to enjoy you money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support you answer.

Now days earning money became one of the main goals in our live. It is like we live just to earn more and more money.

Firstly, we spend and enjoy an outcome we get. There is a need to buy a thing, like a food, cloths, shoes, etc. We spend money also for fun, going out is always involve with spending. Other is shopping, mostly for women. They really love it. There is a space left for new pair of shoes. So we enjoy our salary at the time we earn it. It is not possible otherwise. We give the money we get for goods we need at the moment. That is the main point of earning money. You go to work, not just for fun and to be glad of your existing, but also to purchase your own profit.

On the other hand what we earn money for? For better living at the moment or for saving money for better future. Some people live in present, do not think what future would be. They enjoy their money now, at that time. But other are more careful and save money for the time in future. No one knows what is next, what would be tomorrow. So, in any case saved money is needed.

Both cases are reasonable. In my opinion saving money is preferable although there is always need to satisfy yourself for been working. I save money just to have amount that could spend apropriet. I could invest the money in thing that can bring me more money or for holiday or for some lessons, which in any case would make my glad that I have been saving money for a reason.

In the end I think is better to save money but not forget to enjoy it meanwhile you earn it. Otherwise it is not worth to pres yourself and work just to earn money.

kbihani 1 / 2  
Mar 12, 2012   #2
You can improve upon your use of grammar and the statements you have written.
for example, consider the first line:

Is it better to enjoy you money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support you answer.

Now days earning money became one of the main goals in our live. It is like we live just to earn more and more money.

Firstly, we spend and enjoy an outcome we get. There is a need to buy a thing, like a food, cloths, shoes, etc. We spend money also for fun, going out is always involve with spending. Other is shopping, mostly for women.

it can easily be substituted by:

Now a days, earning money has became a priority in our lives. It is all we live for. We spend to enjoy at every opportunity we get. Apart from the necessities of life such as food, cloths, etc. a lot of it is spent in shopping for stuff like shoes, make-up, etc specially for women, who love to shop.


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