Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Earth-exploration energy is a high acceptable solution.

Saputra Putra 23 / 10 6  
Feb 7, 2016   #1
As Earth runs out of natural resources, we have started to look to space for solutions. However, some people argue that this is wrong thing to do, and instead we should look for alternative solutions here on Earth. To what extent do you agree with them? What alternatives might there be to exploiting space for natural resources?

Today's issue is natural resources. As seen, most people need more resources of energy in order to fulfill their needs. For some people, they claim space exploration as a solution, but it is not always true since this notion brings enormous drawback rather than the advantage. In my opinion, earth-exploration energy is a high acceptable solution.

Increasing supply and demand some natural resources is predominant reason why virtually resource experts claim that worldwide people have to seek out an alternative solution as soon as possible. Populer notion comes to solve this problem, in which some asteroid in the space is offered as a solution namely space mining. Neil deGrasse Tyson, a well-known American astrophysics, reveals space mining has enormous potential to improve human life. For instance, if team of space mining can haul an asteroid which has the size of a house to earth, this material could give more platinum rather than has been mined in world's history.

However, this idea is criticized by some opponent due to wasting money to much. Peter Diamandis, the founders of asteroid-mining company, estimates that the total of budget in order to carry out this notion is from $300 billion to $5 trillion. The great number of money leads critics to promote simple technology as alternative solution on the Earth. While I argue with this view, since the Earth has tremendous potential resources that can be used, I also claim that some earth power can be a solution for such problem namely wind, water and solar power.

In conclusion, the space exploration in order to carry out resources less likely have positive impact in human needs while the earth exploration resources is the best form. Worldwide people can produce the great amount of energy from the earth namely wind power and solar power.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Feb 7, 2016   #2
Ahmad, in your third paragraph, you accidentally combined the discussion of the point of view of Peter Diamandis with your own. It would strengthen your very well discussed and informative essay if you divided the discussion of his point of view from yours. That means, you should develop the point of view of Dimandis in full and then offer a new paragraph where you, in turn, discuss your own point of view.

Remember that your point of view must always be a separate discussion. Properly explain your point of view. You already claimed that the earth has alternative power sources readily available, so the logical discussion for your point of view would be explain why developing alternative sources of power and minerals on earth is the better option to space mining or space exploration. Explain how the economics of earth bound exploration will always be the cheaper alternative to space exploration. The foundation for this sound discussion exists in your essay. You just need to develop it further in order to create a more informative essay.

The score for this essay will definitely be a good one because of the discussion you presented. You clearly understood the prompt, offered valid discussions, and properly conclude the essay. All of which add up to good scoring points for you.

Home / Writing Feedback / Earth-exploration energy is a high acceptable solution.