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EastSouth Area Condition - TOEFL; cloud seeding can reduce the hail from forming


toseanliu 3 / 1  
Aug 29, 2017   #1
This is a practice of TOEFL integrated essay. Thanks to whomever will fix this article for me, (Note: next time a useless title = suspension)

the article about controlling precipitation



The listening context totally refutes the reading passage about the concept of "cloud seeding." Cloud seeding is a way to reduce damage from hail, which fall from the sky and destroy crops in the field.

To begin with, the article uses laboratory experiments to prove cloud seeding can reduce the hail from forming. Though the speaker admits it might be useful in the laboratory, she also points out this experiment cannot apply in real life. She indicates that cloud seeding may result in lack of water since it stops the forming of cloud or snow.

Secondly, the author illustrates a successful case in Asia by controlling precipitation in urban areas. On the contrary, the speaker argues the experience of Asia cannot be reprouduced in the U.S. since it only works in urban area. She also holds that pollution air from cars in the city could build a favorable environment for cloud seeding, which is not suitable for unpolluted region in the agricultural field in the U.S..

Thirdly, the author states that comparing to previous years, the area used cloud seeding has less damages. Nevertheless, the speaker opposes this by arguing in the neighboring eastsouth area also has the same condition. She thinks this is a natural variation, and has nothing to do with the cloud seeding.

Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Aug 29, 2017   #2
Liu, when you post an article discussion essay, you need to give us a copy of the article either by uploading an image of the file or providing the link to the article online. Without it, a proper assessment of your statements, in relation to the factual information from the original source cannot be made. In this instance, I will hazard a guess regarding the problematic portions of your essay that needs to be addressed. There are some obvious points that can be referred to for your improvement even without the original article presented.

You made reference to a country in Asia from the article. What was that country? Remember, you cannot just mention the region of the world the country is located in because of the highly specific results that stemmed from the events that unfolded. There was also a mention of laboratory experiments at the start. In order to make that lab experiment acceptable to the reader, the reader needs to know how the experiment was conducted. Without it, the statement leaves a sense of doubt in the reader.

I cannot go further with my review of your work due to the incomplete information that you have provided. I hope that you will remember to upload the necessary documents for our review or, to include the link with your next essay so that you can be better assisted in developing your writing skills for this section of the test.


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