Hello everyone
Please help me with my essay
Thank you a lot!
Here is my essay:
When people's standard of living increase, they often think about improving their knowledge for a better life. To do that, they choose to study abroad where they can get progressive education. However, everything has its advantages and disadvantages, so studying abroad is not an axception.
At first, I want to write about the advantages of studying abroad. Firstly, studying abroad is the same meaning of getting good education system. We will get a good schooling system and an active learning condition. For example, we can practise a lot, so we can remember the lesson easily. Furthermore, there will have a lot of good lectures that almost all of them are professors. They can help us answer our question in a resonable way. Studying abroad also brings mordern learning and teaching equipment to us. We will study in mordern laboratory with a lot of high technologies. Moreover, if we study abroad, you will get better certificate and will have more job opportunities.
The second advantage of studying abroad is that we will get more challenging enviroment. Everyting will be new and different so we have to take care of ourself. We have to learn how to organise our life by ourself and to be responsible for what we do. From all of that, we will be more mature and self - confident. A friend of mine is studing abroad. He has studied at Australia for 5 years. Before going abroad to study, he didn't care about study and lives very careless. But now, I can see that he has changed a lot. He becomes more responsible and very interested in study.
The last advantage of studying abroad I want to mention is that we will have chance to get new experience. Firstly, we will experience new cultures. We can meet a lot of people from every different countries and make friend with them. In my opinion, nothing is happier than we can enjoy local foods and drinks. Im sure that everybody like this. Secondly, we have opportunities to travel. We can explore the citywe are sutying in. After the tight classes, we can take excursion with classmate to many tourist attractions. We can see many beatiful landscapes at first hand, not through pictures like before. Another wonderful thing is that you can experience modern means of transport such as tube or cable cars. Thanks to every experiences that studying abroad brings to us, our life will become more interesting and beatiful.
I have just written about the avandtages of studying abroad. As I mentioned at the beginning, everything has its advantages and disadvantages. So does studying abroad. In my opinion, there are two main disadvantages of studying abroad. Firstly, stuyding abroad is often expensive. We have to pay not only for our school fees but also for our living cost such as for foods, for drinks and so on. Moreover, we have to pay a large amount of money for air ticket. Therefore, finace may become the biggest problem. Consequently, its distracts our mind from studying to earning money. Secondly, about the enviroment. The new enviroment is advantage but it also is disadvantage of studying abroad. It is very hard to be alone far far away from home with no family, so we will be lonely and homesick. In addition, we will have health problems because of foods, drinks or the weather change. Furthermore, different cultures and customs may influence our mind and make us become less confident or even a victim of discrimination. If we don't have enough physical and mental strenght, we will fail to adjust ourself in the new enviroment. As a result, we could neither study or gain beatiful experiences as we have expected.
In conclusin, while sudying abroad offer great opportunities for a better future, it also has challenges that we must try our best to overcome what happened to make our dream come true.
(The example is not that effective: say some shortcoming those are not easily available and accessible in your country and bring forth with its advantages in foreign edu system...else the above supposition is not at all rationalized )
:) I feel you have serious lacunae in structuring of essay...further, you sometimes digress from your thesis statement. Kindly pay attention in these area. :X
Thanx
