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IELTS writing task 2.........Eating habits and lifestyle of children and their effects


hisho88 4 / 6  
Sep 30, 2013   #1

Lifestyle and Eating Habits of New Generation Children



It is obvious that every person has his/her own lifestyle and eating habits and it is clear that you need to eat to continue living your life but sometimes food can be a dangerous thing and it can be a curse if we don't know how to eat or what to eat especially for children whose bodies are still growing and it is like building a house if the bases are wrong it will fall one day.In addition lifestyle is a very important thing and it can be defined as the way the person lives so we really need to know how to live correctly.

In the past children used to have a simple lifestyle.They also had a simple eating habits.for example:people consisting children depended on cereals,milk and its derivatives,vegetables and fruits.that was healthy food to eat.moreover if we look to their lifestyle we can see that it was much better than now because it was active and had less pollutants and that reflected on the whole society so illnesses like cancer was rare and many other illnesses wasn't existed.

Life has changed a lot in every aspect of it.Different sorts of food are available now which may be good or bad.Different things have showed up and changed our life a lot like the new technology.As a result our life style and our children's have dramatically changed too.for example:fast food has spread recently a lot and the result of that was the high numbers in obesity in children which may make the child face too many diseases including diabetes,heart diseases or hypertension.Add on that the new technology and video games and their effects on the child as having sleep disorders,vision problems and sometimes psychological problems.

In conclusion,i think we must look deep in this problem and do the best we can to correct it and that must be quickly and effectively by doing awareness campaigns and raise children in a good way and that can be done by parents,school,friends and the whole society.

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gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Sep 30, 2013   #2
Overall you need to do a lot of work on organizing your ideas and deliver it well.

It is obvious that every person has his/her own lifestyle and eating habits and it is clear that you need to eat to continue living your life but sometimes food can be a dangerous thing and it can be a curse if we don't know how to eat or what to eat especially for children whose bodies are still growing and it is like building a house if the bases are wrong it will fall one day

This is way too long and as a result the whole idea is unclear. Break it into simple and more meaningful sentences.

In addition lifestyle is a very important thing and it can be defined as the way the person lives so we really need to know how to live correctly.

this sentence should have been a very good starter for one of your body paragraphs, however I do think you need to rephrase it a bit

for example:people consisting

do not do this in an IELTS writing essay.

Both body paragraphs one and two are talking about eating habits and lifestyle, you should have separated them in different paragraphs.
I mean you should talk about the changes of eating habits in the first paragraph and lifestyle in the second. It is essential to talk about

one main idea only per paragraph. This provides a better flow of your writing.

Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give a clear response to this question

Mind your capitalization and spacing after punctuations. Obviously they are not typos.

hope this helps...


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