Overall you need to do a lot of work on organizing your ideas and deliver it well.
It is obvious that every person has his/her own lifestyle and eating habits and it is clear that you need to eat to continue living your life but sometimes food can be a dangerous thing and it can be a curse if we don't know how to eat or what to eat especially for children whose bodies are still growing and it is like building a house if the bases are wrong it will fall one day
This is way too long and as a result the whole idea is unclear. Break it into simple and more meaningful sentences.
In addition lifestyle is a very important thing and it can be defined as the way the person lives so we really need to know how to live correctly.
this sentence should have been a very good starter for one of your body paragraphs, however I do think you need to rephrase it a bit
for example:people consisting
do not do this in an IELTS writing essay.
Both body paragraphs one and two are talking about eating habits and lifestyle, you should have separated them in different paragraphs.
I mean you should talk about the changes of eating habits in the first paragraph and lifestyle in the second. It is essential to talk about
one main idea only per paragraph. This provides a better flow of your writing.
Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give a clear response to this question
Mind your capitalization and spacing after punctuations. Obviously they are not typos.
hope this helps...