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Over eating can be as harmful as smoking?


samba 2 / 4  
Jan 10, 2012   #1
Research has shown that over eating can be as harmful as smoking. Therefore, some people reckon the advertising some kinds of food products should be banned. Do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays, the effects of advertising on inspiring people to purchase items which are either needless or harmful are not deniable. Although the influence of smoking on human's health can be controversial in compare to eating junk food or fast food. I don't agree with the impact of ads on promoting bad diet among people which I will discuss in the following text.

First of all, it's not logical to compare smoking to over eating. Obesity can be retrieved by some methods and surgeries. Regarding to improve technology the ways to assist people to loose weight become more convenient, On the other hand smoking is the reason of so many disease like lung cancer, heart attack, blood pressure which are deadly. In addition to no heal way can consider recovering them.

Second of all, whatever the human eat, can be useful for the body, just the crucial matter is the amount of eating which is concern to people. According to scientific research some junk food which was recognized as non-neutrinos food can be useful for body and bones. Finally, ads is one of the most rapidly growing areas which most of the companies take advantages of that to present their items and products which is not fair to omit.

In conclusion, the governments have a responsibility to avoid misleading ads on TV and billboards. Moreover it is good to concentrate on increasing public health by allocating budget for schools to teach the students to choose appropriate diet.
need_advice 6 / 21  
Jan 10, 2012   #2
Nice work, very informative. The only thing I'll say is that you may want to open up with something more interesting, like an uncommonly known fact or something.
soshianet 16 / 47  
Jan 11, 2012   #3
loose lose weight
many diseaseS
In addition to no heal, the way can consider recovering them.
whatever the human eatS
which is concernED
According to scientific research,
ads is one of the
Moreover, it is good
an appropriate diet
hussein6558331 1 / 4  
Jan 11, 2012   #4
Hi
To be honest your essay is good but short. Your introductory paragraph didn't motivate me to read further. We have five methods to develop an introductory that are: 1) an interesting story 2) a well-known statement or quotation 3) posing challengeable question 4) funnel method 5)starting with opposed idea. On the other hand; your body paragraphs aren't coherence, I mean the information you bring should be more matched with each other. One more point is we don't have secondly of all, you can use secondly instead. Good Luck Dude
Smiksha - / 6  
Jan 11, 2012   #5
Nice essay. But in my opinion, the habit and addiction of smoking is undeniable. When a person is trying to quit smoking and at the same time, trying to refrain from overeating - the nervousness, the jitters, the crabbiness, will drive a person to either eat or smoke.
OP samba 2 / 4  
Jan 11, 2012   #6
Tnx alot for your comments, do you have any sugesstion for beggining sentence?i mean sth interesting.actually for ielts exam 250 words is enough.am i right?moreover i supposed it should not be more than 250 words.
hussein6558331 1 / 4  
Jan 11, 2012   #7
Hi
as far I concern over eating and eating junk food are two separate issues.I think you can pose a question for introduction paragaraph like:

Do yo like junk food ? do you concern with todays junk food advertisment? should they be bannd? Researchs show that over eating can be harmful as smoking.

Yes dude for IELTS 250 words is enough.
Good Luck.
H. Meihami


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