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Eating home-made food is better than eating out in restaurants or food stands


vickey 9 / 18  
May 31, 2012   #1
As the world is getting complex, people prefer to go out dinner than to cook at home; A lot of house wives work or participate their social activities. Depend on situation, people eat out or eat home-made food. I think that, eating home-made food is better than eating out in restaurants or food stands because of following reasons; it can make me healthier and I can save my money and time.

Firstly, I prefer eat home because of my healthy life. Actually I am on a diet which means I have to control my calories. If I eat dinner out, I cannot control my calories, moreover, restaurants serve too much amount of food better than I can eat. I can easily overeat. Also, I can make my own dish with organic vegetables or antibiotic meat when I cook at home. However, if I go to the restaurant, I can not. They usually use chemical indigents to allure customers and to make better taste. I prefer the healthy food , yet it could be less delicious than restaurant food.

Secondly, home-made food can save my money. If I have dinner out, it usually takes 30 dollars for each person. I know that I can buy a lot of grocery stuffs with same amount of money. I can prepare 3 times meals with 30 dollars. Moreover, it can save my time. If I make dinner at home, it only take from 30 minutes to one hour. On the other hand, if I eat outside, it takes a lot of time, such as, driving time, waiting time, and serving time. Of course I can save my gas if I have dinner at home.

I am sure that eat dinner out is convenient, and sometimes more delicious. However, eating homemade food is better option because it can be helpful for my losing weight and save my money.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
May 31, 2012   #2
Hi,
I think you should work on vocabulary. In addition, you should try to use complex sentences. All the sentences that u used were simple and too short, and you may lose mark because of that. Another significant point is that you should write an essay by passive sentences.


A lot of house wives work or participate theirin different social activities.
Depends on situation
...because of following reasons; it can make meits positive effects on the issues such as health states and economic conditions of individuals.healthier and I can save my money and time.

I prefer to eat home because ofI believe it can make my life healthiermy healthy life
In writing try to use passive sentences and reduce the use of "I" in the essay. For example u can change the sentence "If I eat dinner out, I cannot control my calories" to this one :"Eating dinner at a restaurant may increase the level of calorie in the body". In addition, the use of term "my calories" is wrong.

too much amount of food bettermore than I can eat
However, if I go to the restaurant, I can not(the structure of this sentence is not suitable. you can write:"at restaurants I have not such chance to do that")

Regards
Ahmad
inform 8 / 21  
Jun 1, 2012   #3
Hi vickey,

Most of the corrections are already done by Ahmed. I would include few more.

As the world is getting complex, people prefer to go out for dinner than to cook at home ;.( I think you need a stop here as the next sentence is a new one.)

As you have used firstly , secondly in your essay so ending should match the flow. You can use one of these " In conclusion/ In the end ".


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