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Eating vegetarian of Vietnamese people


Big Boss 1 / 1  
Feb 7, 2020   #1

veg diet - healthy and friendly



How do you think about eating vegetarian? Do you have habit with vegetarian? How many days do you eat vegetarian every month or every year?

Today is full moon in Vietnam. In this day, many people will do many kind things such as doing charity, releasing fish, eating vegetarian. I also like doing charity in this day. I tried to eat vegetarian one year ago. About releasing fish, I have not done this job yet. This is my plan in this year. I will invite my friend to join with this good activity.

I want to talk about eating vegetarian. I think you heard many good things from eating vegetarian including it is good for your health. When you eat vegetarian with vegetable, fruit, cereals, you health is better. Your face can be more beautiful. When you eat less meat, your breath is fresh more, you hardly meet caries. I hear this from my teacher.

To me, I still remembered I used to read book of Thich Nhat Hanh. He said that when we can eat vegetarian, we help our world. In this book said that every second, meat industry has made 43 thousands kilograms animals dung. It is more than 130 times all of human dung in the earth. When we want to make one kilogram of meat, people need to use 8 750 liters of waters. While, people want to make one kilogram wheat, people only need to use 87 liters of waters.

When I read this paragraph, it makes me think again. And I changed. From a person who is difficult to eat vegetirian, I started to eat. I can eat 4 days although in the past, eating vegetarian a half of day is my effort. In summary, when I want to do some things, I will find the way to adapt. I believe in myself that I can do this.

Today, I support my mom to prepare some dishes in worship full moon. This is what I cook. I am happy.
While I am waiting to have lunch, I write some things.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,892 2170  
Feb 7, 2020   #2
I am not exactly sure what the point of this exercise is. There is a severe disconnect between the title, the focus of the early essay and the point of the last part of the presentation. It appears to me that you just wrote this essay as a simple English writing exercise. Therefore, I will advise you as to how to further improve your writing skills based on that assumption.

Please be conscious of how to spell words. You need to consistently spell the keyword vegetarian properly. You misspelled the word once in this presentation. You also need to make sure that you properly refer to your readers in this essay. You have word choice errors in the presentation ( you= your). You also have problems with your noun phrases. The correct term is 43 thousand, not thousands. The hyphenation problem can also be seen in the way that you mistakenly wrote one-kilogram sans the hyphen.

The sentence structures are problematic. It lacks coherence due to the mixed-up English words that you used to create the sentences. This tells me that you are a beginner in learning the English language. I strongly suggest that you brush up on your basic English vocabulary. Reading English comic books and watching shows with English sub-titles should help you become more familiar with the way English sentences are developed, constructed, and presented to the reading public. You will definitely learn from those examples.

Don't worry, the essay is simple enough to understand. The point of your essay can still be found in the writing, although reading the essay causes some confusion for the native English speakers. You should just keep writing and posting at this forum so that we can collectively help you improve your English writing skills.
OP Big Boss 1 / 1  
Feb 7, 2020   #3
@Holt
thank you so much!


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