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Writing task 2: economic growth - environment protection


thuhabk  
Aug 6, 2018   #1

economic development destroys the environment



Topic: Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In almost all countries, economic development has long been seen as the key to reducing hunger and poverty. However, economic development also simultaneously destroy the environment, so some people think it is better to stop economic development. I would argue that developing the economy and protecting the environment should be carried out simultaneously to ensure sustainable development of each country.

On the one hand, one of the reasons which cause hunger and poverty is unemployment problem. As a result, it is believed that economic development can provide job opportunities for local people, therefore helping them have incomes to release from hunger and poverty. Indeed, the emergence of many new factories and industrial zones create a variety of jobs for local people. To develop the economy, modern machines and advanced technical science are used in many fields to raise quality and productivity of products, such as agricultural field. Relying on that, yields of crop plants and domestic animals have risen steadily, so ensuring enough food resource to supply for every people in case a famine occurs.

On the other hand, economic development also produces negative effects on our environment. This makes people's life be seriously affected. Tourism is considered one of the measures to develop the economy of local areas. However, tourists who threw away litter into the sea, the land... pollute the sea or land environment so killing many animal specials. Toxin chemicals, harmful gases, wastewater... released from industrial factories contaminate water or land recourse, making citizens more susceptible to irreversible diseases including tuberculosis or lung cancer.

In conclusion, the governments should integrate developing the economy with protecting the environment to obtain stable and long-term developments.

smally01 13  
Aug 6, 2018   #2
Hi thuhabk, hope that I can help.

I guess you miss your opinion about 'developing the economy and protecting the environment should be carried out simultaneously to ensure sustainable development of each country.'

Maybe try not to use ellipsis in your essay...

Re the conclusion, try not to put any new idea or viewpoint there, so the statement 'the governments should integrate developing ...' could be put to your missing opinion I guess.
OP thuhabk  
Aug 7, 2018   #3
Thank you for your advice - @smally01
zahranatsir 2  
Aug 7, 2018   #4
Hi, thu!

here is some advises related to your writing.
Overall you have a great skill in writing, however there some points you need to concern.
the first is that the essay requires you to give your opinion. Eventhough you have written your opinion inside the introductory paragraph, your opinion should appear on the body paraghraph which is about the view that you support. Furthermore, you have to make your opinion can be found by the reader..

secondly, economic development has long been seenas the key to reducing hunger and poverty should be written a key to tackle based on the rule that

"to + Verb 1"
Jimmy879873 8  
Aug 7, 2018   #5
Hi Bui, you failed to address the prompt partially. The better version of the first paragraph would be:

There is a discourse that relates to economic growth and social as well as environmental issues. Although some people advocate that fast-growing economy is the ultimate way to lift people from poverty and eliminate the hunger, others concern the negative drawbacks that might bring to the environment. This essay, I shall discuss both sides of view and present my own opinion at the end.

Whatever the question that is asking you, you have to restate it in the first paragraph to let the examiner knows that you understand the prompt thoroughly.

... reasons which causes hunger

therefore helping them have incomes to ...
It helps them to have income and therefore, releasing them from hunger and poverty.

Be careful about these minor mistakes as they have impacts on your final score in the actual exam.

tourists who threw away litter into the sea, the land... pollute the sea or land environment so killing many animal specials.

The tenses you were using is confusing the reader, and also, you should try to avoid any run-on sentence in your writing.

Another part I would like to point out is that you did not offer your own opinion in the essay, which was essential in this type of discussion essay.

Don't worry though, keep on writing and you will get better!
OP thuhabk  
Aug 7, 2018   #6
Thank you very much for your advice.


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