Yusi, you made a fatal mistake towards task response assessment. You MUST provide at least 250 words minimum to fulfill task achievement. Even though you have excellent writing skills, you still get a penalty from the examiner due to incomplete task. This will affect your band score in IELTS. In addition, I also saw many unnecessary mistakes regarding to punctuation and spelling. Just bear in mind that before you write a new sentence (after period) and after a comma, give 1 space. There are more that 10 mistakes about that in your essay, check it again.
Let me show you one of them,
aspects, except economy. Firstly, .....
economy, Normally, a successful...
Some spelling mistakes,
Your conclusion is also too short. This makes you failed to fulfill the task achievement of minimum words written.
Remember, a conclusion should consist:
1. paraphrase of your introduction (paraphrase question, thesis statement)
2. add at least one sentence about your recommendation, hope, or fear in the future.
Keep struggling hard! Hope this helps.