Yusi, you made a fatal mistake towards task response assessment. You MUST provide at least 250 words minimum to fulfill task achievement. Even though you have excellent writing skills, you still get a penalty from the examiner due to incomplete task. This will affect your band score in IELTS. In addition, I also saw many unnecessary mistakes regarding to punctuation and spelling. Just bear in mind that before you write a new sentence (after period) and after a comma, give 1 space. There are more that 10 mistakes about that in your essay, check it again.
Let me show you one of them,
aspects,except economy.Firstly,
aspects, except economy. Firstly, .....
economy.Normally,a successful
economy, Normally, a successful...
Some spelling mistakes,
Otha
other
ture
true
Your conclusion is also too short. This makes you failed to fulfill the task achievement of minimum words written.
Remember, a conclusion should consist:
1. paraphrase of your introduction (paraphrase question, thesis statement)
2. add at least one sentence about your recommendation, hope, or fear in the future.
Keep struggling hard! Hope this helps.