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Economic success and clean environment.

thanhtampy2000 1 / 1  
Jun 29, 2017   #1
Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

environmental regulations and economy

The 21st century is characterized by a burgeoning development of the global economy. Conscious of this propensity, sustainable development has been a topic of concern in the most contentious debates. While some people believe that the desire to develop an economy without any adverse effects on the environment is unfeasible, I believe it is achievable.

On the one hand, the economic growth will incontrovertibly exert a deleterious effect on the environment. To make way for the erection of factories and companies, deforestation will come at the expanse. Consequently, the world will encounter soil erosion, global warming and ecological imbalance, resulting in the loss of natural habitats of exotic species. Furthermore, it is an unpalatable fact that the establishment of multinational corporate behemoths has a serious repercussion on the environment. Specifically, these organizations discharge a great deal of pollutants into the atmosphere and utilise a multitude of resources during manufacturing activities, engendering an increase in carbon dioxide emissions and the depletion of natural resources.

On the other hand, boosting the economy will pose no threats to the environment if we take control of economic activities. Many companies are oblivious to the necessity of cutting down emissions released from industrial operation. Only when a cooperation is aware of using renewable energy such as solar power and wind power can it cover the escalating need of energy and reduce carbon footprints. Furthermore, we can invest money into the upgradation of waste treatment system to extenuate the amount of contamination released into the environment. This system enables people to classify and recycle non-biodegradable materials such as plastic and nylon.

In conclusion, although interwining economic growth with environmental protection seems to be a challenging task, an economy can reap auspicious results and achieve its sustainablity by adhering to environmental regulations and adopt aforementioned environmentally friendly policies during its manufacturing process.

(305 words)
Written by: Tam Bui
okorobiadimma14 6 / 82 50  
Jun 29, 2017   #2
Tam Bui, While I commend your level of vocabulary, I am afraid the number of words have written is way too high fro a typical exam condition which made me to wonder if you actually timed yourself during your practice and if not, you just have to involving timing. Another, important observation I made is that your introductory paragraph did not come out as well as the rest of the essay. This is because you failed to paraphrase the prompt and introduce thesis statement of your essay. The very first sentence in this kind of essay is one that puts the topic question in the writer's own words which show's that the writer understands the requirement of the prompt.The next in that line is to introduce the idea to be discussed as a thesis statement. Thus, the last sentence in the 1st paragraph should come first in the essay. Also, be very careful with the usage of new words as most time they tend to impede fluidity of your write-up. The examiner only want to test your writing skills with regard to basic rules of English grammar, lexis and structure; it is not a medium to showcased mastery of new words that do not collocate with the context of their usage. Practice the art of starting a paragraph with a topic sentence and then developing the idea therein in the next series of sentences. That way, your write-up will attain the required coherence and cohesion. Meanwhile, apart from the aforementioned inconsistencies, you have a good essay here.
OP thanhtampy2000 1 / 1  
Jun 29, 2017   #3
Thanks a lot for your feedback. First of all, I did time myself so no worries. Secondly, as I am taking the test this August, if possible, can you tell me which band score can I achieve with this essay?.
okorobiadimma14 6 / 82 50  
Jun 29, 2017   #4
Tam, I will rate your next post. Just keep writing and improving.

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