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( IELTS essay) Economical developments degrade Social values?


joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 29, 2013   #1
Most countries develop their economies to improve the living standards. Some people afraid that, it will cause degradation of important social values. Do you think the advantages overweigh the disadvantages.

The developmental programs of a society bring with increase in living standards along with decreased social values. In this essay, I will explain why I feel the disadvantages of these changes overweigh the advantages.

Social values are important for a community as it provides equality and fairness. Most of the countries encourage immigration of skilled labors from different countries. It help the country in its economical developments. Lack of unity and co-operation between people in a cosmopolitan society, cause conflicts and creates problems in the host country. When the rights of the minorities are constantly neglected, it may leads to voice strikes and disturb the peace of the society.

Apparently, people are more attracted towards the success of people and their high standard of life. Nowadays, both parents are started working outside to raise the finance of the escalating expense of living. The workaholic life style may give tremendous support to the economical developments. However, the number of broken families, old age homes, unattended children and elder people are shooting up, neighbor relations and helping mentality trim down, the gap between haves and have-nots are ever widening.

Additionally, so many countries invite multinational companies, their products and services, and allow them to invest in their own countries, to improve the living status of their citizens. These companies bring with their own culture of consumption of fast foods, fast way of life, consumption of more unnecessary items, and promotion of international products. If it is uncontrolled, it may result in the monopoly of these firms and the distraction of the local culture and market. Craze for costly international products especially among youngsters may guide them to antisocial activities to meet the finance of these costly items.

To conclude, it is clear from the above discussion that, running after uncontrolled developments in different sectors, may cause drastic changes in the social values. Hence, I believe that the disadvantages overweigh the advantages.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 29, 2013   #2
The developmental programs of a society bring with increase in living standards along with decreased social values.

Your idea does not flow beautifully here.
Economic development helps increase living standards of people, yet deteriorates social values of mankind.

In this essay, I will explain why I feel the disadvantages of these changes overweigh the advantages.

...
In this essay I hope to discuss why I believe that disadvantages of technological advancements over weigh their advantages to humans.

Apparently, people are more attracted towards the success of people and their high standard of life.

.... the word "people" is getting repeated too soon :)
Obviously, people look forward to enhancing their living standards through convenient and comfortable solutions..
[quote=joytThese companies bring withalong their own culture ofespecially the consumption of fast foods[/quote]
Dr Seus 1 / 12  
Jan 29, 2013   #3
hey:

i know this is unhelpful but i am posting this on every thread in hopes of getting a reply. I uploaded an essay on this site last week and not the plagiarism checker is picking it up. i really want to just delete it but i can because i ned 3 more likes...pleasse please can you like this so i can delete the thread. i know its not your problem but please!!

:(

anyways as for your essay, its really good! i agree with dumis edits

all in all i would say that you should think about the advantages and then find flaws with them that would make it stronger.

also you can talk about how nations think they're moving forward when in reality they're simply leaving people behind. you can question the idea of deveolopment. what is it? why do we crave it? can a country be stable and underdeveloped yet have happy citizens?

most of all it would be great if you could give some concrete examples...

:)
somysojan 8 / 19 8  
Jan 30, 2013   #4
The developmental programs of a society bring with increase in living standards along with decreased social values. In this essay, I will explain why I feel the disadvantages of these changes overweigh the advantages.

let me suggest this way as its an introductory sentence and it should have a punch.

Nowadays, many nations spending a major proportion of their economy in society developments. This trend brings about some changes by improving life styles and reducing many of our social values. In this essay....

If it is uncontrolled, it may result in the monopoly of these firms and the distraction of the local culture and market.

it may monopolize such firms and thereby causing the distraction of indigenous/aboriginal cultural values and market.


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