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IELTS Task 2: Being economically success while at the same time having a clean environment?

jennyjenny 1 / 2  
Jul 8, 2017   #1
Some people believe that a country will be able to be economically success and also have a clean environment. Some people disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

clean environment during fast development?

It is considered by some that a country can attain success in both economic development and environmental protection at the same time while there are others who believe that it is impossible to have the win-win situation. In my opinion, I believe while a country perform well economically, the environment must be harmed to a certain extent, so a country can only try to maintain a balance between the two areas.

On the one hand, many think a country can enjoy clean environment even when it is developing rapidly in the business sectors, as it is believed that investment in environment protection can be made to ensure the natural habitats be protected. In other words, designing well urban planning by the government would be an effective way to maintain a nice and clean environment, in addition not hindering the development of a country.

On the other hand, constructing more buildings and inventing more new technology are two fabric of an economically strong country, which these two actions will surely disturb the environment and emit many pollutants, consequently result in poor environment, namely poor air quality and terrifying water pollution. For example, the removal of trees to build roads as well as the burning of fossil fuels for electricity generation for the smooth climb up in economic areas of a country, will lead to a less clean environment.

Finally, in my opinion, the environment will be harmed undoubtedly under the economic success of a country, but still the level of harmfulness of development can be minimised by carrying out different protection methods. For instance, introducing pollutants emission levy or taking actions in replantation of trees can reduce the disturbance to the natural environment, maintaining a balance between development and environment protection.

In conclusion, destroying the environment cannot be avoided if a country wish to be economically success admittedly. However, protecting the environment by introducing various means can still be an achievable way to return the country a relative less unclean environment.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,341 3364  
Jul 8, 2017   #2
Jenny, you have written a very well discussed essay. The two opinions public opinions based upon the prompt requirement are some of the best that I have read in all my time as a contributor at this forum. You did very well in representing your personal opinion as well. Creating a stand alone paragraph for your personal opinion shows an advanced writing level on your part as you knew that the personal opinion needs to be presented as a separate but integrated part of the essay. The only problem that I have with your work is that you are not familiar with the sentence structure development rules yet. You tend to create run on sentences instead of using full stops which would have helped you to create simple to complex sentences that would have helped to boost your final score. This would also help you meet the proper paragraph sentence requirement of between 3-5 sentences. If you use full stops, you could create a properly developed paragraph. At the moment, your paragraphs are too long per sentence. Learn to divide the sentences and your paragraphs as part of your grammar accuracy exercises in your next essay. This is the main problem that I can see with your writing. It isn't anything major that can't be corrected over time. Try to accomplish these changes in your next practice test.
OP jennyjenny 1 / 2  
Jul 10, 2017   #3
Thank you Holt! I have always been struggling between writing complex sentences and stopping long sentences. I will try to practise more on limiting my sentence within two to three parts.

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