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Editing for a service activity essay


xxalixx 3 / 2  
Nov 28, 2007   #1
It was required that all students should start with "My activity made me feel..." and here is my essay...

My activity made me feel that teamwork was an important aspect when completing different tasks. Everyone that had helped out at the Wednesday Night Barbeque was assigned to do tasks. Such as washing kitchen tools, cleaning the table tops and sweeping the floor. It was impossible to finish all the tasks on time without cooperating among the five helpers that were there that day. For example, two people were washing kitchen tools, two people were bringing the cleaned kitchen tools to the kitchen and one person cleaning the table tops and sweeping the floor. With cooperating with the different helpers, we had completed our tasks early and we left early as well.

My activity at the Wednesday Night Barbeque also had made me feel that the Aggies were environmentalists. Everything that we used during the Wednesday Night Barbeque was things that were reusable. For example, we were using ceramic plates, steel forks and spoons and plastic mugs. The Aggies rarely use paper dishes, plastic utensils and paper cups. They also did not want anyone to waste valuable water source; therefore, they provided water in three large buckets for cleaning kitchen tools and dishes. Furthermore, the food that was prepared for the event was all eaten and we would not waste any food that we had. The Aggies did a great job in saving the resources that we had.

Wednesday Night Barbeque was a great event, but it could be improved by a bit. Many helpers were not assigned specifically to do their task. Also tasks were not explained clearly; therefore, we did not understand what we had to do at the beginning. People who were familiar with the event should explain tasks more clearly, so that they would not think we were not helping out. It would be even better to provide some cleaning agent to clean the kitchen tools because some stains were hard to remove. The Aggies should be more organized in assigning tasks to different helper. This would lead the helpers to work more efficiently.

Wednesday Night Barbeque was a great experience to me, because I had never been to this event before. Also, I realized teamwork was important when we had so many tasks to complete. I also get to see how this event was like and what kind of things that the Aggies prepared for the dinner. Furthermore, the Aggies were great environmentalists. They taught me to save up earth's resources whenever I could.

it will be great if i could get it edited. thanks!

EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Nov 29, 2007   #2
Greetings!

I'd be happy to help!

Everyone that had helped out at the Wednesday Night Barbeque was assigned to do tasks, such as washing kitchen tools, cleaning the table tops and sweeping the floor.

By cooperating with the different helpers, we [delete had] completed our tasks early and we left early as well.

Everything that we used during the Wednesday Night Barbeque was [delete things that were] reusable.

The Aggies should be more organized in assigning tasks to different helpers.

I also got to see what this event was like and what kinds of things [delete that] the Aggies prepared for the dinner.

Good work!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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