Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

Some editors have a great deal of consideration before broadcasting news on television or newspaper


Aris05 31 / 24 1  
Sep 22, 2016   #1
Writing task : News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers

At the present time, the rising amount of news on television and newspaper has significantly influenced people views. Thus some editors have a great deal of consideration before broadcasting on television or newspaper. However I believe that the good news should be much more reporting than the bad news.

There are several factors which affect the journalist's decision to broadcast and print the news. Firstly, news editors have to ensure that the news is an interesting and latest news since it will give them more chances to appeal people to watch or read their news. when the news is watched or read in big amount , it will impact to company's income. In addtion, they perhaps draw a lot of comercial advertisement of many business companies. Secondly, the grade of news popularity is necessary to atrract the reader. It common happens when people have the strong curiousity toward personal life of well known people such as artist, musicians and the leaders of government institution.

Recently, we know that the local and national media have a tendency to report bad news in many cases, for instance the hedonism of artist life style. It causes many people in particular youngster to imitate this regard. Most of the time, the media also report about other bad news such us crime and corruption. It would be better if good news are broadcasted because it will give the positive contribution to the nation.

In conclusion, there are some factors which affect the news editors' decision to broadcast and print the content of news. I believe that the good news are suppose to have a big proportion to report because it will give more benefit for most people.

hanachi 3 / 9 2  
Sep 22, 2016   #2
hallo aris05,
i have corrected your writing, but i have some corrections

1. at this sentence: "... to ensure that the news is an interesting"

2. at this sentence: "It would be better if good news areis broadcasted"

3. at this sentence: "I believe that the good news areis supposed to have a big proportion" it is a past tense, so should be 'supposed'

thank you, wish useful. keep writing ^^
PHA2016 39 / 62 4  
Sep 23, 2016   #3
Hai Aris05,
Good writing but I have some inputs;

In addtion,addition they perhaps draw a lot of comercialcommercial advertisement of many business companies.

... artist, musicians and the leaders of government institution.

I believe that thea good news are suppose ...

Hope these help
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Sep 24, 2016   #4
Hi Aris Indra.
Let me help you to finalize your essay. In this moment, I wanna focus on contents of yours. Check it out my notes.


I really appreciate your effort to describe an introduction paragraph. You can paraphrase the statement successfully. I only add a few words to make it clearly

However, I believe that the good news should be much more reporting than the bad news by THE EDITORS IN THOSE TWO MEDIUMS.
Why I mentioned two mediums is because you can review reasons why the editor has to do that on the television in the first body paragraph and the newspaper at the second body. Following that, you can include your position or opinion at the last sentence in each body paragraph. It is well-known as a concession.

Actually, you can directly describe both in one paragraph. However, if we see the statement detailed, there is a word "AND" ( what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers). It is a minor keyword to decide the edge of your explanation. Keep in your mind, on condition that you wanna get score more than 6, you are supposed to address all parts of the task.

Apart from that, you should harness linking words properly to make your flow in the essay well. For example,

when the news is watched or read in big amount

CONSEQUENTLY, when the news...
It can help the readers to get your flow. Pay attention to the proper transitive words

Overall, you have demonstrated the positive progress.
Practice more and more.
You can master this more and more.
Keep Spirit
GOOD LUCK
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Sep 24, 2016   #5
Hi Aris, here's my take on the first two paragraphs of your essay.

- At the present timeNowadays , the rising amount of news on
- ... has significantly influenced peoples views.
- Thus, ( don't forget your punctuation marks) some editors
- havepossess a great deal of consideration
- that the good news should be much more reportinggiven priority than the bad news.

- There are several factors which affects the journalist's decision
- news sinceas it will give them more chances
- to appeal to people towho watch
- ... when the news is watched or read in big amounthuge following ,
- it will have an impact to the company's income.

There you have it Aris, the above remarks are quiet minor, pretty much your linking verbs, the punctuation marks should be given importance too and for future reference, make sure that this is noted and practiced.


Home / Writing Feedback / Some editors have a great deal of consideration before broadcasting news on television or newspaper