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Educating Children with Toys - help me with these pargraphs


mary123 3 / 10  
Feb 19, 2010   #1
good morning everyone
how are you today

the title is: Educating Children with Toys

my thesis statement is: Consequently, toy manufacturers are designing toys that can aid a child in learning to initiate action, to take care of himself, and to discover and repair breakdowns of the toy.

those are the 3 body paragraph

Kids can be attracted with a small little things that catches their attention. Such as lights, sounds, music, and shapes. for example give a child an alphabet train toy which is for kids from 6 to 36 months, and keep an eye on him. All he is going to do is listen to the sounds, clap, laugh, ride on it, and hit the keys with his small fingers. This toy can aid children in learning to initiate action.

Another type of toys is a baby doll. A baby doll toy comes with her clothing, brush, and shoes. the kid start brush the doll's hair and change her clothes. all those things teaches a child how to take care of them self.

Third style of toys is a wooden building blocks. This toy allow the child to build what comes on his\her imagination. this type of toys can aid children to discover and repair break downs of the toy.

can someone help correct my mistakes please as soon as possible

OP mary123 3 / 10  
Feb 19, 2010   #2
please help as fast as u can
is anyone here?
remya 2 / 10  
Feb 19, 2010   #3
Kids can be attracted with a small little things that .
It is said that toys which are broken by the kids at their infant period should not be thrown away,insted mom should keep it and can give the broken pieces after 2 and a half years and help him to reunite the broken legs or wheels,through which their concentration , skill in making things etc can be improved.
msdenna 2 / 6  
Feb 19, 2010   #4
Kids can be attracted with a small little thingsthis is confusing, try something like "Small things attract childern's intrest, especially toys with lights, music, and shapes that catches their attention. Such as lights, sounds, music, and shapes.F or example give a child an alphabet train toy which is for childrenfrom 6 to 36 months, and keep an eye on him. All he is going to do is listen to the sounds, clap, laugh, ride on it, and hit the keys with his small fingers. This toy can aid children in learning to initiate action.

Another type of toy is a baby doll. Most baby dolls come with clothing, brush, and shoes. T he kid starts to brush the doll's hair and change her clothes. a ll these things teach a child how to take care of themselves .

Third style of toys is a wooden building blocks. This toy allows the child to build what comes on his\her imagination. T his type of toy can aid children in discovering and repairing break downs of the toy.[/quote]

Try not to use the word kid, it sounds too informal, use child or children instead.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Feb 20, 2010   #5
Consequently, toy manufacturers are designing toys that can aid children in learning to initiate action, to taking care of himself, and to discovering and repair breakdowns of the toy.

If you want to show good structure, have a topic sentence for each paragraph. The three topic sentences should correspond with the 3 parts of the thesis statement:

Toys help children learn to initiate action by making them feel curious and excited. Kids can be attracted with a small little things that catches their attention. Such as lights, sounds, music, and shapes.

Toys help children to take care of themselves, in the sense that _________ . For example, another type of toy is a baby doll.

The first sentence of every paragraph should be a topic sentence about part o that 3-part thesis statement.

:-)


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