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Education is a critical element to prosperity of any nation. Justify.

amicalrahul 2 / 4  
Sep 25, 2015   #1
Education is a critical element to prosperity of any nation. The more educated the people in country are, the more successful their nation becomes. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this statement.

With the advent of technological advancements, the modern world has undergone a rapid transformation. In my opinion, with quality education nations are developing at a fast rate and therefore are more successful than others.

The foremost example to support the above-mentioned view is that of the high economic growth rate of countries with extensive learning facilities. For example, if we talk about the countries which have relatively high per capita income or GDP have high literacy rates as well. Clearly, education has been playing an important role in the success of the country.

The second example that explains my opinion is that of innovations in medical facilities. A developed country like USA or UK is certainly able to handle or control an epidemic in a better way as compared to the countries which are still under-developed like some African countries. So certainly education is needed for the nations to overcome such contingencies.

The third example that illustrates my opinion is how quickly a nation recovers from natural disasters like floods or earthquakes with the aid of latest technologies. Educated people are more aware of the warnings given by forecast departments and are equipped with the means to minimize the damage. Consequently, the whole disaster management system is a result of better educational facilities.

Finally to conclude, we can see there are numerous examples where well-developed educational system is playing a vital role in the progress of a country. Without educated people a country is not only doomed to fail economically but in other areas of growth as well.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 25, 2015   #2
Rahul, you have a good introduction. Well developed and threshed out. While I would have liked to have seen a compare and contrast version of your point of view, the fact that you decided to write this essay solely from your point of view is what made it quite strong. However your statement should have included a sentence that said "I agree with the statement that..." in order to show that you fully agree with the statement and do not merely agree to a certain extent. Your first person voice come across as analytical and knowledgeable about the prompt. That is sure to impress any examiner. Another observation I made is that you should have said; "With quality education, SOME nations are developing at a fast rate..." This sentence immediately balances the point of view regarding education and its connection to a nation's growth. It completes the thought of the sentence in a more concise manner.

Your second paragraph is good. The foundation of the point of view can be seen as viewed from the point of view of a person who reads the news and observes world politics. However, the stance that you took would have have more of an impact if you had cited a clear example of a country that has a high economic growth rate. A good example would have been either China, Korea, or Japan. These countries are well- known to place a high value on the education of their children as reflected by their economic growth rate.

The third paragraph also lacks a clear example in order to make it stronger. You already presented examples of countries in your previous paragraphs to help illustrate your argument. That is always a good method by which you can display your comprehension skills to the examiner. You should have continued the trend throughout. For this paragraphs countries like Japan and their reaction to the tsunami in , I believe it was in 2010, would have clearly supported your point of view and made it an inarguable fact.

Nice work with the closing statement. It wrapped up the essay with a bow on it. Good work on this essay. Just take notice of how using examples in your succeeding essays, be it public knowledge of personal experience will always serve to strengthen your point of view in an essay.
OP amicalrahul 2 / 4  
Sep 25, 2015   #3
Thanks for the prompt feedback. I have certainly noted the points highlighted by you and will put them in my next essay. I am looking for an 8 band essay in PTE and these feedback are of immense importance for me.

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