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In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why? Is it a good thing?

cherryblossom 6 / 11 3  
Aug 10, 2022   #1
In education and employment, some people work harder than others.

Reason? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

In educational and workplace settings, there is often a difference between people regarding their hardworking level. In my opinion, this can stem from the variety of personal goals people set for themselves. I also believe that working and studying conscientiously all the time is not always positive given the possible health problems and poor social life an extremely hardworking person may lead.

Trying to realize an ambition always drive people to work harder. A student, for example, can pay his painstaking attention to each lecture while his friends are chatting if his goal is to get the highest scholarship granted by, say, his university. Similarly, a worker who desires a higher position tends to make diligent efforts to get their work done with the highest quality whereas others' care may be just to meet the deadline. It stands to reason as normally, hard work will be paid off with rewarding results. Thus, personal objectives can explain why some people devote themselves to their education or career more than anyone else.

That said, the idea of working hard can sometimes stray too far. To exemplify, the student who gives up his sleep to study hours on end can suffer badly as his health is greatly abused in exchange for better results. This can also be seen in adult workers. Not only their healths are adversely affected, their social life can be degraded as well. Making more time for education and work means less time for family and friends. Furthermore, as all their time and efforts are concentrated in achieving their goals, social events at which people can widen their network can be conveniently ignored. As a result, a poor social life is expected.

In conclusion, goals and ambitions are the driving force behind many people's working harder than others. Overall, this is a positive idea, however, excessive work can inevitably lead to health problems as well as limited social activities when not managed properly.

Hi, I'm back. Hopefully, this essay won't make you too disappointed.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,209 4317  
Aug 18, 2022   #2
The essay is still 23 words over the suggested word count. The writer is relying on overwriting to help pass the test. Overwriting does the exact opposite. It creates more chances for errors and other deduction possibilities because the focus of the writer is not the quality of the content and use of language, but just on vocabulary. The writer does not leave any time to review, revise, edit, and finalize the content because of this incorrect writing strategy. A task 2 essay does not need to be wordy, it needs to be short, clear in discussion, and easily understandable by a native English speaker.

As I reviewed this paper, the more obvious error is that the writer was using word fillers to help increase the length of each paragraph, even as it did not add to the essence or importance of the paragraph content. Such occurrences further highlight the improper grammar skills and incorrect word usage of the writer.

Did this paper disappont? Yes, in a different way from before.

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