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Writing task 2 - Education is free. Do you agree or disagree?


Trinh Phon Tinh 1 / -  
May 16, 2020   #1

Fees or no fees in education?



No issue in recent years has drawn as much attention as the debate surrounding fees in education. Some people advocated that paying money for education is a necessity. I subscribe to this opinion for two reasons below.

Firstly, it is undeniable that money would be able to motivate students. This is because they don't want to waste their parents' money. As a result, they will try to get hold of skills and knowledge to reach a level they think it breaks even tuition fees. For example, a recent poll by the Korea government found that 58% of people said that paying money for curriculums would have enhanced motivations to study. Therefore, the pupils concentrate on lessons instead of wasting money.

Secondly, one point which I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact that the cost of comprehension like tax these students turn over to the government and school. The reason is that their teachers' salaries and contribution to the structure were restricted, which means that education doesn't have enough quality to teach full of essential skills. For instance, a recent vote by Bejing 2 high school found that 78% of parents who agree on paying extra to buy computers for their son. As a consequence, you have to spend money on effort teacher and infrastructures you was used

In conclusion, I am of opinion that all education should remain equally available to all regardless of income. This is not only fair, but will also ensure that countries can prosper and develop into the future with a well-educated workforce.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,568 2485  
May 16, 2020   #2
There are actually 2 discussion prompts based on your discussion topic. Since you did not provide the original prompt, I will be unable to review your essay for task responsiveness. Kindly remember to provide the original prompt next time so that you can get a comprehensive review of your work. Students cannot post the prompt for you in this thread. However, they may give a general comment about your work. Topic discussion has to be avoided because the prompt they opt to use for that review could be incorrect, thus providing you with misinformation, which will not help you improve your writing skills.

Grammar Issues:

Do not use an apostrophe when referring to the plural form of a word. Parent is the singular form of the word parents, which is the plural representation of the ancestor of the children. Children is the plural form of "child:.

There are times when presenting 2 connected discussion points in a sentence,does not require the use of a comma before the word "but" to indicate an emphasis in your statement ( This is not only fair but will also...)

Formal words need to spelled out. This is an academic paper so always use the complete words ( don't = do not, doesn't = does not, ) An academic tone is required to show respect to the reader and an ability to write in a formal setting. Avoid using language shortcuts in an academic essay, research, or opinion paper.

Use topic sentences instead of word fillers / introductions to create clarity in your paragraph presentations. The following is an introduction filler that decreases the clarity of your presentation:

...one point which I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact that

Just get to the point:

Secondly, the cost of comprehension like tax these students turn over to the government and school

By the way, that section, even in the original does not make sense. Something got lost in translation from your language to English.

Spelling Errors:

Bejing = Beijing

I could have done a better review of your work if the prompt were provided. Please do not forget to give the discussion instructions next time. Thanks.


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