, or else, promoting the quality of society and so on
You can omit this part.
due to these significances of this major,
n my perspective, apart from the inevitable benefits mentioned above,
However, in my opinion,
evidently proved to be either essential or even more necessary more important , moreover, and the growth of a nation
from deteriorating, in other word, from not reducing
therefore, the healthy population increasing leading to being a wealthier country.
You could start a new sentence here:
Healthy citizens, which mean a more productive workforce, can contribute greatly to economic growth of a country.
Furthermore, the tangible value of one country mainly depends on its culture relating to the fact the absence of the long-established tradition means the irrelevant existence of a nation where cross-cultures acquired from the globalization are absolutely merged together
Furthermore, traditional culture has always played an essential role in any country, either in the past or in the age of globalization.
Thus, there should be governmental consideration on this major not only to conserve the very essence of a country but also to assist in increasing the pace of economic rates.
You had better give examples of the importance of traditional culture.
leading to the international commerce being more dynamic
this part is not necessary.
You have good grammar and vocabulary. However, your sentences are too lengthy and overusing big words makes your essay hard to follow.