Hey, guys. Please help me improve my writing. Thanks in advance!
The purpose of education is to provide students with a value system, a standard, a set of ideas. Education provides a means for us to instill moral values in children to ensure that they carry on our values as a society.
The purpose of an educational system derives from what can benefit the needs of society. Teaching children to be familiar with a value system can help in all aspects of life. To use an analogy, it would be like moving to a new place. Before leaving, one should learn all the rules there, and the local customs people should respect. Therefore, making students ready to enter society is the first duty of education that includes all about rules, standard, limitation and so forth. Like the saying, "When in Rome, do like the Romans do," our educational system is teaching children how to live like us, the Romans. Education prepares to play their roles in society.
The goal of education is to prepare students for life. Education teaches students to behave in a way that they do not harm other people. It teaches them to be aware social harm and learn how to avoid it. Certainly, students will face many problems in their lives. An educational system will prepare them to choose best strategies towards difficulties.
Students are educated for a specific job. However, students are taught moral standards and ethics, for every job. Attorneys must take a test to show illustrate the ethical values they have learned. Doctors must follow a code of moral conduct. Admittedly, if a medicine student is educated only in medical practices, no values or ethics; would you trust him to perform surgery?
The purpose of education is to prepare students to carry on our societal values. Education makes us aware of what the society expects of us and what are the rules and values in social life. It is educational system's duty to prepare students with a value system.
Education prepares to play their roles in society.
A word is missing here.
But aside from that, no we cannot help you improve! Your writing is great. Here is an idea I had, though: Add a sentence to the end of the first paragraph to 'sharpen' the main idea of the essay. It can be a sentence that takes the general (and not so arguable) statement and turns it into something more specific and unique.
And after you add a sentence like that, you can self-evaluate by challenging your own idea. Your assertion implies that adults should impose their values on learners, but some would argue that the purpose of education is to empower learners to think critically and come to their own conclusions. I agree that education should be used to share important values, but some of the values transmitted through education are misguided. So... that is a good way to challenge your own idea in the essay. And it is a good way to acknowledge the importance of encouraging learners not only to consider ideas/values taught in school but also to evaluate and challenge them.
: )
