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IELTS 2: Education in prison is used to reduce the crime rate so that prisoners can get a job.

thieman 1 / 1  
Jun 9, 2017   #1

education for prisoners

There is a widespread belief that prisoners should be given the well-education to make a fresh start after serving out their sentence. I also belief that education for offenders is a useful key to decrease the crime rate. The overall structure of the essay takes the form of two parts, including how education gives prisoners the chance rehabilitation and the reason why having a job supports them on community association.

Education in jail is utilized for remoulding the figure of criminals to make them better. First of all, social isolation in jail provides environment for inmates to instigate violent disturbance which results in injury to others. Education requires people utilizing their time and the energy appropriatly and therefore, disturbance rate is decreased. Prisoners also learn how to improve themselves and spend time on helpful things. The second reason is, prisoners are training for advancing skills which supports them after rehabilitating. Not only that, but the inmates also have more time the normal to improve the skillfuless.

On the other hand, having a job takes a considerable part in mitigating the crime rate. Firstly, position of employment provides the criminal opportunities to embark on being a helpful individual. It also helps them show a sense of responsibility for society which the reducing re-offending proportion is the implication for. The second is, the convict who is released back to the community acts as a deterrent to avoid breeding future offenders. The evidence suggests that youngster who approach with the liberated convicts have reduce their probality to commit crime.

In conclusion, well-education should be given by the inmates because it transforms the criminals'mind positively and build them skills which gives them a job after reintegrating back into community. Education also plays a vital role in in lessen the crime proportion.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,907 2173  
Jun 10, 2017   #2
Nhu, I cannot accurately review this essay in terms of form and content because you did not provide the original prompt requirement along with your essay. That is why I cannot tell if your introductory paragraph is adherent to the requirements of the paper or not. There is something about what you wrote that tells me it does not follow the instructions for the discussion. I just can't put my finger on it at the moment due to the lack of the original prompt. That said, the essay that you wrote is convincing and really utilizes some very good examples in defense of your position. Your concluding paragraph is lacking in substance though. Mostly because it does not accurately represent the original prompt given as well as a summary of the definitive facts you stated to support your position. It would be best if you post the original prompt along with your next essay for a more thorough review of your work.

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