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The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you


pluskid 2 / 5  
Nov 12, 2016   #1
The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school.
To what extend do you agree with this statement and why ?


Today children are upbringing and learning in a big society and Besides this, two straightforward way are family and school. A bunch of people say that family teaching is more notable, however other people argue that school is much more important. I share opinion on that family is more striking as I shall go on to show.

Firstly, youngster learn from their parents before they go to school and learn there. As a result of that they are formed by family first and this makes fundamental of their manner. If parents do not care about this period of time commitment of crime may will be raising.

Secondly, juvenile spend as fewer time as they do in home which means there are a lot of routine to learn more than in school and this is because family is more important and they might better have good plan to direct children to god way with appropriate attitudes.

Furthermore, because of all different culture and variety of behavior that someone can face with at school, so education from school can be efficient and to point out other part of children construct in school.

To conclude, I believe that family nurture is much more notable than school, yet it can lead to bad result if either parents or government have plan to teach all things children need.

ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Nov 12, 2016   #2
hai danial
you have a great writing
let me give you some corrections
hope it helps
1. make sure the words at least 250 since this writing only 223 words

I share an opinion on that family is more striking as I shall go on to show.

Firstly, the youngster learns from their parents ...

As a result of that, they are formed by family firstimmediate family and this makes ...

... about this period of the time commitment of crime may will be raising.

Secondly, juvenile spend as fewer time as ...
secondly, juvenile spend much time in house rather than in school. it appears to be true that there are a lot of learn routines in the home.

thanks
Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Nov 12, 2016   #3
Danial, I would say that your task achievement score would be 4 in this instance. Mostly because you did not clearly present the overview of the prompt, you did not cover the key features of the discussion, and finally, your opening statement came across as unclear. Your coherence and cohesion might score around a 5 because, while there is a sense of coherence and cohesion, there is a lack of overall progression in the essay. You failed to use transition sentences between paragraphs. The transition sentences create the cohesive part of the essay as it connects one paragraph to another in terms of discussion and common points. The Lexical Resource could score no more than a 3 when you consider that there is a clear lack of ability to form understandable sentences. Grammatical range and accuracy might share the same score because errors in grammar and punctuation do not reflect the proper sentiment of the writer. That is mostly because of your lack of English speaking and writing ability. Not to worry though, you should improve over time provided you have constant practice.


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