( IELTS essay) education can reduce the number of criminals?

In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Prisons are places where offenders are treated. The increasing number of criminals behind the bars raises the question whether we can reduce the number of them by proper education or not. However, I am completely agree that proper education can decrease the number of crimes.

Education molds the character and shapes the individual. Good morals from early childhood, from family and society, help the people to grow as good citizens. These moral values enable them to distinguish the right from the wrong. If one understands the situation with patience, he can avoid many problems. For instance, if one believes that it is his right to injure a person who hurts him, it may leads to serious consequences. If he thinks, the one who hurt him may be because of his misunderstanding it is better to forgive him, a big problem may solve. Furthermore, if a person became criminal, with moral education and vocational training we can bring him back to the normal life. These training provide him with proper livelihood to find money for his expenses.

Apparently, good education is the key to success in their future life. Poverty and financial crisis have a pivotal role in raising the crime rates. Successful education provides one with gainful employment and there by financial security. He can enjoy a good living standard to himself and his dependents. As a result, crimes for the need of money may diminish. He knows his rights and responsibilities towards the society and this mentality itself lead him to work in a better way and it attracts success. Besides, the willingness to do any work by knowing the dignity of each work that he had got from education, prepare him to take part in any job and live with contentment. Hence, crazy for more things and need of more money for them, will trim down.

To conclude, I strongly believe that, through proper education and guidance from childhood itself we can mold the mindset of an individual. This may helps to block the shooting crime rates.

The increasing number of criminals behind the bars raise the question whether we can reduce the number of them by proper education or not

Furthermore, if a person became criminalmurderer , with moral education and vocational training we can bring him back to the normal life

I am completely agree, correct: I completely agree.
It may leads , correct : It may lead
( a big problem may solve) , a big problem may be solved
(there by), thereby
(crazy for more things), craziness
(This may helps), This may help

However, I completely agree with the idea that proper education can decrease the number of crimes.


These moral values enable them to distinguish right from wrong.


For instance, if one believes that it is his right to injure a person who hurts him, it may lead to serious consequences.

You need to work on your grammar a little bit more.

its ok che chechi...is it mold or mould?

... I feel this sentence does not add much value to your essay because this is too obvious. This is like a definition of prisons and you need to address something else; it is a more important issue regarding what would help prevent crime rate. So this sentence sounds a bit out of topic. In the intro, make sure you introduce your topic to the reader. In doing so, you must have your focus to the topic.

Hai friends..
Mold/mould which is correct for shapes...?

In my mobile dictionary,
Mould is Amarican, both shows same meaning...

Hai...
Pahan, Elmar, Sahar,Ashbin

Pahan ...
Thanks for corrections
Sorry for repeating same mistakes...(.

Sahan...
It was really valuable for me...
Thanks..

Elmar..
Thanks for the suggestion...
Criminals are not limited in murderers...).

Monu..
I am still in confusion..!

Thanks for all comments, concern and time given for me...).

Tessy.

For this question, I totally disagree as many serial killers and murderers are highly educated people or child prodigies. But your paragraph show your opinion strongly.

I added something else...
Education molds the character and shapes the individual but the way he/ she make use of it for his/her betterment wholly depends on themselves. Whether they choose to use the key of education or waste it away, It all lies in their hands. Through education, they become functioning individuals but their morals also plays a big role in their decision in life.

Good luck !!

Hai Binni..
Thanks for the comments and correction...
I do agree that serious criminals are also among the highly educated people...) that is the fact...real fact...!

your suggesions broaden my views related to it ..
I will make myown sentances and use it some where..).

Thanks for broadening my ideas..
Tessy

joythblessy - you are welcome ...:::)))))))

Hai Dumi..

Thanks for your suggesion and correction..

I put the first para first sentence as 1 st sentence in the introducton..
Education shape...
Hope it is o.k

1st para started with undeniably.

Thanks a lot..
Tessy

Hi Tessy,


Yes... this sounds perfect :)


What I tried to insist was that you need to align your ideas and thoughts with the topic always and it is very necessary to happen in the introduction (also in the conclusion) because it's going to make first impressions about your writing to the examiner.

Pleas don't take my comments as harsh ones to run down your writing and it is not what I mean. I try to highlight every little thing that catches my eye in hope of promoting you to utilize your full potential. However, you write well and your ability is pretty sufficient for this task :D

Hai Dumi...

Thanks for your support and replay.
when i took the essay, i planned to start it like education mold..
Some how it changed. As i wrote it followed by time, i didn't delate that sentence.
I am respecting your sincerty, dedication and concern to all....).
I am saw a good teacher in you.
Harsh comments also with clear explanation i have no problem at all...).
Hope, writing thanks to all who commented my essay in a single message before closing is not a problem...).

Thanks a lot