this is my second try to put my essay here. :-) Thank you so much for previous feedback on my first essay & thank you in advance for your correction on this one . Hope my writing will get better !! haha
Many people believe that the development of a country relies heavily on education. On the other hand, some people argue that there are far more important things which determine a nation's advancement. This essay will discuss what the vital elements of a country's wealth.
To begin with, one great scholar, Bacon, said "Knowledge is power." Then, where does knowledge come from? How do we obtain it? The key answer lies in "education." Through the formal schooling from elementary to high school, even to college, we become intelligent beings. This is one of features of a human being, which differentiates from other species. Moreover, we are capable of applying what we learn in school to other different disciplines. That is, learning has no boundaries. With the basic knowledge and the application of learning, education is believed to be a foundation of the country's success.
However, one nation's progress does not rest on only education. Even majority of people are knowledgeable enough, what if they are reluctant to work? Not to mention, a country's development has something to do with its economy. Also this economic state is closely connected to industrious workforce in the society. If there are abundant hard-working people in a country, even they do not get enough schooling, country will make a progress significantly as we see the case of China.
In sum up, it is very tempting to think education is what the country's development is all about. To some extent, this statement can be a truth since education provides the fundamental knowledge for us. It is the beginning of every science. Yet, education does not guarantee the ultimate advancement of the nation. We need loyal people who are diligent and hard-working whether or not they are educated. Thus the statement-'education is only single factor in country's development-is not entirely true.
Greetings!
You've written a good essay! Here are some editing pointers for you:
This essay will discuss what comprises the vital elements of a country's wealth.
This is one of the features of a human being, which differentiates us from other species.
Even if majority of people are knowledgeable enough, what if they are reluctant to work?
even if they do not get enough schooling, the country will make significant progress, as we see the case of China.
In summary [or, "To sum up,] it is very tempting to think education is what the country's development is all about.
Thus the statement-'education is the only single factor in a country's development-is not entirely true.
Good work!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
