Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

Education is undeniably the driving force in every country's evolution.


princedynasty 15 / 57 4  
Nov 15, 2012   #1
Topic: In order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to evaluate and criticise their teachers, but others think it will result in loss of respect and discipline in classroom. What is your opinion?

Education is undeniably the driving force in every country's evolution. One of the proposals for the advancement in teaching and studying is to allow high-school students to state their opinions about their teachers' methods of instructing. I am convinced that it is necessary for this suggestion to be employed due to various reasons.

Some people against this proposal assume that the freedom for high school students to give comments on teachers' performance can be seen as an indication of contempt and lack of discipline. This is a completely misleading view. Teachers who devote themselves to teaching hardly ever take offence at sincere advice from their own students. If their opinions are sounded out in proper ways, teachers could be more obliged to acknowledge their disadvantages. For example, questionnaires can be distributed to students after classes to get instant feedback by marking each teacher on a scale of 10. As regards the age of high-school students, they are mature enough to have a clear conscience and the right to voice their opinions, so preventing them from judging their teachers is apparently unreasonable.

Furthermore, only students can make precise assessments about teachers' approaches towards lessons. Annual theoretical examinations are no longer reliable to evaluate their ability since some tutors may master a thorough specialized knowledge but fail to motivate their students. These teachers are likely to be overrated without students' disinterested criticism. I used to be taught by a mathematics teacher who graduated from a prestigious university. However, he invariably stuck to the textbooks, had few interactions with students and gave stacks of homework day after day. His soporific tone of voice made everyone exhausted. Surprisingly, he was deemed the most excellent teacher that year.

In addition, students' frequent evaluation can considerably stimulate teachers to invent creative ways of teaching. Education has to keep pace with the constant increase in mankind's knowledge. Thus, in all probability , traditional teaching methods will prove to be counter-effective and obsolete. Teachers have to acquaint themselves with innovative approaches to attract students' interest in lessons and continue doing research to have a grasp of new knowledge. For instance, a history teacher in the past may have merely made a list of important events, while today, he will have to create small games like crosswords and encourage teamwork among students so as to make those events more memorable.

From what has been discussed, it is clear that instead of disparaging teachers, invaluable comments from students will help them to make more progress in transmitting knowledge simply and intriguingly. High-quality education can be expected to produce a highly-skilled workforce serving the nation's industrialization and modernization.

Nam12lehoan 1 / 2  
Nov 15, 2012   #2
evolution is uncountable noun, do not use it with every
instructing--> instruction
due to various reasons--> "due to seems suitable in negative reasons, instead you can use because of / owning to
freedom for--> freedom of
a thorough specialized knowledge--> not a
For instance I used to be taught by a mathematics teacher who graduated from a prestigious university. However, he invariably stuck to the textbooks, had few interactions with students and gave stacks of homework day after day. His soporific tone of voice made everyone exhausted. Surprisingly, he was deemed the most excellent teacher that year

That is all I can comment on your essay, In general, It is quite good and likely to get high score in Ielts exam.
Good luck and look forward to checking my essay in return.
OP princedynasty 15 / 57 4  
Nov 15, 2012   #3
I mean "every country" not "every evolution". Thanks :D. Your advice is very helpful
LOMOBOY 1 / 3  
Nov 16, 2012   #4
Every time I read your essay, it gives me lots of motivation to study much harder!
I want to tell you that your essay is awesome and look forward my essay to be the level of yours one day.
Out of curiosity, what score you want to get in IELTS writing?
OP princedynasty 15 / 57 4  
Nov 16, 2012   #5
@LOMOBOY: I haven't taken the Ielts before and if possible, I just need a score of 6.5 ( I think it's good enough) :D. the IELTS is necessary only when we intend to study abroad, or stay permanently in English-speaking countries.
Ravichandra - / 2  
Nov 22, 2012   #6
Amazing essay! I can not believe this has been produced in 40 minutes. In my view your essays deserve band 8. your work is admirable for those aspiring band 7 like me.


Home / Writing Feedback / Education is undeniably the driving force in every country's evolution.