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Education for young people is important in many countries. What about illiterate adults?


ANLE1608 1 / -  
Jul 24, 2018   #1
Education for young people is important in many countries. However, the others think government should spend more money for education in adult population who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Money for youngsters or adults without schools?



Many believed that more money should be invested by authorities to educate adults who are illiterate. While I believe that the young should get education no matter what situations are, I argue that the government should give an equal spending on both adult illiteracy and young people.

To begin with, financial resources of a nation should be spent on education for young people. Firstly, due to the lack of infrastructure and the shortage of teachers in rural areas, many children in these places are unlikely to receive schooling. Therefore, this leads to the fact that they may become illiterate at the later stage of their age. Secondly, because many poor families cannot pay tuition fees for their children, the government should make it possible to offer them to go to school by allocating money for building public schools or funding scholarships. Consequently, young people will have schooling, helping society to eradicate the illiteracy rate in the long run.

However, adult people who cannot read and write should also need attention from authorities. The first problem is that it may be inconvenient or even serious for adults in some situations since they do not have basic literacy skills. For example, it will be dangerous for them if they travel on roads without an ability in reading traffic signals. This may lead to fatal consequences not only for them but also for other commuters and pedestrians. The second problem is that as they are not literate, they will find it difficult to know what happens around them when they are unable to read newspapers or books. Therefore, they will become much more dependent on others and gradually lose their confidence in their life.

In conclusion, although youngsters have to receive education at any cost, authorities should spend equally money on giving young people education and removing the literacy in adults.

AmericanCorner 1 / 2  
Jul 24, 2018   #2
For the first one, it relates to the number of words you've produced where it limits to over 300 words. Second, it comes to the choice of words you put to the sentence such as "no matter what situations are" seems like it is inappropriate to be used.

In addition, for the phrases," financial resources should be spent" seems to me that there is a sense of "forcing idea" but it is, to me, far better if you say "financial resources of one country should be allocated for the educational sector seeing the condition that ......, and "allocating money for building public ...", it's supposed to allocate money to build school's infrastructure or to fund scholarship.

Another problem is that "as they are not literate, they will find it difficult to know what happens around them when they are unable to read newspapers or books. To my understanding, these sentences are quite redundant because the point is similar. Hence, it is far better if you can deliver any other ideas than do repetition.

Best,
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,931 2185  
Jul 25, 2018   #3
An Le, for starters, you are not giving the correct response in your thesis statement. Your response is not aligned with the prompt requirements because the:

Prompt Question is: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Response: I argue that the government should give an equal spending on both adult illiteracy and young people.

Your response does not respond to the question being asked. You have shown that your English comprehension abilities do not extend to understanding the basic instructional concepts used in English essay writing. This misconception on your part regarding the discussion requirements led you to create your own discussion prompt, question, and response development. This is better known as a prompt deviation is always spells a disastrous score for the test takers in the end.

You got only a partially correct response to the prompt in the discussion paragraphs. This is not equivalent to a passing TA score because your prompt response in the paragraph was still incorrect as it did not deliver the correct extent response. Once the TA section does not get a passing score, it will be next to impossible for you get a score of 5 in the final scoring because you have other errors in the presentation that will further pull your overall scores down. Since this is an extent essay, you could have responded by saying that you partially agree with the statement and then offered a comparison discussion of the two sides of the issues. That would have been acceptable enough over the prompt deviation you created in your response.

This is precisely the reason why you should not write more than 275 words for a Task 2 essay. You need time to review your content and make sure that you understood the instructions and that you provided the correct answer to the question. Once you make a mistake in your response and you do not correct it, you cannot expect to pass the test. You need to deliver an appropriate response with a polished presentation in your essay response as much as possible.


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