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St. Edwards Essay, Sibling and birth order influence


amenanoori 2 / 6  
Apr 22, 2011   #1
In her book Original Kin , Marian Sandmaier has written that "A sibling may be the sole keeper of one's core identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self." Describe your relationship with your siblings. Do you think birth order has had a significant impact on who you are? If you are an only child, how has the lack of a sibling shaped your identity?

The relationship between siblings is a very important relationship, it the one of the most long lasting and prevalent relationship in a person's life.

There are times in life when we come across people who change our whole perspective on life. For me, that person is my own sister. Growing up in a very strict and traditional family was always a hard part in my life. Also being the eldest daughter meant that all the pressure was on me. I was always taking care of my sister, and would do all the chores in the house. I barely had any time for myself. There were times when I just wanted to run away from home, but there was one thing that always held me back, and that was my sister's love.

Even though my sister is younger than me, she has always has supported me with every phase of my life. She would always show me the positive outlook on life. I have had many tough times in my life, but during all those times, I always had someone there, who I knew cared for me. She would always encourage me through rough times and taught me important lessons along the way. My sister, Ayesha, always told me that giving up is not an option, but rather facing those problems in a strong manner.

"Ayesha im scared," that is what I told my sister when my parents told me I was going to have an arrange marriage. Even though I knew it was going to happen one day or another, I was just not ready. Every night before we went to bed, I would make her stay up with me for hours. Even though she had school the next day, she would stay up with me all night, and promise me that everything was going to be fine. There was always a sense of certainty in her tone, and it was that assurance that helped me sleep through the night. I never even though that my younger sister would be there for me the way she was. The courage and security my sister provided me helped me become the person I am today.

I always lacked the confidence my sister had. She was always confident in everything she did, and was never scared about what other people thought about her. Her presence and her support, helped me become like her, she help me gain self confidence, and helped me believe in myself. I do believe that birth order had a severe impact in shaping a person's personality or identity. However, I believe that birth order had an impact on our relationship in only one way. My sister had become strong and confident, by seeing all what I had gone through. I believe that she had the opportunity to learn from my experiences, which made her become a strong person. Where In my life I had no one to look up to. I was the first to experience everything in life. Even though my sister is younger than me, she always helped me approach my problems, good or bad, in a very respectable and mature manner.
engwriting101 - / 23  
Apr 23, 2011   #2
The relationship between siblings is a very important relationship,because it theis one of the most long lasting and prevalent relationship in a person's life. There are times in life when we come across people who are able to change our whole perspective on life. For me, that person is my own sister. Growing up in a very strict and traditional family was always a hard part in my life. AlsoIn addition, being the eldest daughter meant that all the pressure was on me. I was always takingtook care of my sister, and would do all the chores in the house. I barely had any time for myself. There were times when I just wanted to run away from home, but there was one thing that always held me back, and that was my sister's lovemy sister's love always held me back. .

Even though my sister is younger than me, she has always has supported me with every phase of my lifethroughout my life. She would always show me the positive outlook on life. I have had many tough times in my life but during all those times I always had someone there, who I knew cared for me. She would always encourage me through rough times and taught me important lessons along the way. My sister, Ayesha, always told me that giving up is not an option, but rather facing those problems in a strong manner. Here you say "those problems" without addressing what those problems are. Start a new sentence.

"Ayesha im scared," thatis is what I told my sister when my parents told me I waswould be going to have an arranged marriage. Even though I knew it was going to happen one day or another, I just was not ready. Every night before we went to bed, I would make her stay up with me for hours. Even though she had school the next day, she would stay up with me all night, and make her promise me that everything was going to be fine. There was always a sense of certainty in her tone, and it was that re assurance that would helped me sleep through the night. I never even though that my younger sister would be there for me the way she was.I'm quite sure what you're saying here. Try re-writing this. The courage and security my sister provided me helped me become the person I am today.

I always lacked the confidence my sister had. She was always confident in everything she did, and was never scared about what other people thought about her. Her presence and her support, helped me become like her, she help me gain self confidence, and helped me believe in myself. I do believe that birth order had a severe impact in shaping a person's personality or identity. However, I believe that birth order had an impact on our relationship in only one way. My sister had become strong and confident, by seeing all whateverything I had gone through. I believe that she had the opportunity to learn from my experiences, which made her become a strong person. WhereHowever, in my life I had no one to look up to or anyone to turn to for advice . I was the first to experience everything in life. Even though my sister is younger than me, she always helped me approach my problems, good or bad, in a very respectable and mature manner.
OP amenanoori 2 / 6  
Apr 23, 2011   #3
I am answering the prompt right? Overall, with the corrections, this essay is ready to go right?
engwriting101 - / 23  
Apr 23, 2011   #4
Seems like it. You could reference the quote in your writing, Do you agree or disagree with what Sandmaier said?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Apr 24, 2011   #5
Hi Amena, when you write, don't include anything like this:
The relationship between siblings is a very important relationship, it the one of the most long lasting and prevalent relationship in a person's life. You would not say that to anyone in real life, because it is too obvious, so do not say it in an essay.

Here is a better way to start:
There are times in life when we come across people who change our whole perspective on life. For me, that person is my own sister. Growing up in a very strict and traditional

I always lacked the confidence my sister had. She was always confident in everything she did, and was never scared about what other people thought about her. -----This is nice. You have great variation of sentence length.

Her presence and her support helped me become like her; she help me gain self confidence and helped me believe in myself.

:-)


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