The pros and cons of social media
There is a common belief that social platforms appear to exert a detrimental effect on direct interactions between people. In this answer, I will discuss both the merits and demerits before showing why I believe the disadvantages might surpass the good points.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that social media bring about significant advantages to some extent. One of the most compelling ones is that it promotes connectivity between people despite locations and races. As social media involves people from a diverse of ethnics, nations, skin colors through a single platform, it helps the unification of the society as a whole, thus creating a sense of oneness and belonging. Another point to consider is the fact that social media keeps users updated with international and local events as these people are having access to a huge source of instant news and information, resulting in wider understanding of global phenomena.
On the other hand, social media can have a number of drawbacks to users, overshadowing the abovementioned benefits. One argument is that these platforms can be a hindrance in the way of social-emotional expressions. This is because everything have been limited to textual contents with no personal and emotional feelings coveyed, thus leading to confusion and misunderstandng. Furthermore, social media may obstruct face-to-face interactions when most users have relied on state-of-the-art platforms, which is much more handy, for daily conversation. This situation, as a result, might prevent people from developing strong relationship.
In conclusion, there are a number of pros of social media including better connectivity and accessing to a useful source of newly updated information, but they can be eclipsed by the glaring cons related to lack of emotional expressions and unavoidable conflicts. It might depend on users to take advantage of such a modern tool and limit the unfavorable outcomes.
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The student has to respond to the direct question "Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?" within his opinion response instead of merely saying that he will be writing a comparison essay before presenting his own opinion. This response does not establish a clear opinion on the topic as required of the TA score. It is an empty statement that will not be given a score other than 0 because it does not answer the question. The writer is not being asked what he will be writing about, he is being asked what his opinion is of the given topic. Fail to answer that and the paragraph has failed to meet the task requirements for proper scoring.
As for the discussion presentation, the content is also incorrect. The writer should not be presenting one pro and one con paragraph. Rather, both paragraphs need to show how his personal opinion is the appropriate one to believe in this case. For example, if he believes that the disadvantages are far more numerous than the advantages then he must portray one specific advantage in each paragraph as a disadvantage to prove his point. The format is:
Why it is an advantage
Why it is a disadvantage
Supporting reasons / explanations
When presented over 2 paragraphs using this discussion method, the given prompt discussion format will be properly met. As of now, the writer has failed to properly represent the task requirements.
Personally I would not start an essay with the sentence " There is a common belief ", because it sounds too generic. "In this answer" could be eliminated.
The second and third paragraph could have been expanded using examples to support the thesis, as well in the conclusion.
You should provide examples in your 2nd and 3rd paragraphs to further prove your claim. Also your essay is more 50/50 as opposed to disadvantages surpassing the advantages. In order for your essay to not come off as a comparison essay provide more info as to why the disadvantages outweighs the advantages, what impact do the disadvantages have that make you believe that there is more bad than good on social media?