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What is the most effective method of dealing with the rising crime rate, prison? Ielts task2

liliaxa 1 / 2  
May 31, 2018   #1

prison is the best punishment for criminals. Discuss.

What is the most effective method of dealing with the rising crime rate always is a major question in our society. Many people believed that imprisonment is the best way to punish lawbreaker. In my opinion, I totally agree with this idea and in this assay I will support my view with examples.

Firstly, prison sentences would act as a deterrent and would be one useful measure to tackle rising crime. In jail, wrongdoers have no chance to commit a crime. No one can make sure that offenders given non-custodial sentences would not re-offend in time serve other punishments. For example, a recently research of Cambridge University shows that 70% criminal such as shoplifters continue having unlawful actions when they are only given financial punishment.

Another reason why I agree with this stamen is that being in prison, inmates would be educated and then may become a better people. Behind bars, offenders not only have opportunities to learn moral lessons, but they also are received training course about employment. So, when were released back into society they have a chance of rehabilitation and become more useful members. Take my neighbor as an example, after two years of five-year sentence, he understood the meaning of freedom and he successfully reintegrated back into community with a work as a carpenter, which he was learnt in the cell.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that sending to prison is a most powerful punishment for wrongdoers. This method helps to reduce crime figures and rehabilitate prisoners as well.

Kim Truong 3 / 4 1  
May 31, 2018   #2
What is the most ... in our society?
continue having => continue to have .
stamen => statement.
You deserve to receive a high score from this essay.
But in my individual opinion, I strongly recommend using active voice instead of passive to make our sentences more powerful.
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,717 3062  
Jun 1, 2018   #3
Minh, post the complete prompt next time in order to receive more accurate reviews of your work. At this point, I am not sure if this is a direct question essay or an opinion essay. Posting the complete prompt instructions would have helped me decipher that in order to give you more specific advice regarding how to complete your work. As of now, all I can say is, you are showing that you do not know how to edit your sentences nor check for proper spelling because of the mistakes in your grammar and spelling. You need to make sure that you have proper sentence structures, grammar presentations, and spelling in order to avoid severe points deductions on the LR and GRA scoring sections.

When you provide examples, you need to inform the reader as to the background of the example provided. Otherwise, it will seem like you just made up the information. The example you used here is incomplete and makes me wonder if this is a truth based on personal experience or you were just trying to fulfill a prompt requirement. Again, if the prompt were provided, I would have been able to assess that part for accuracy and relevance.

Without the prompt requirement, I can say that you wrote an informative essay. Whether it truly delivered the required discussion is another thing. I will not say that you provided a proper essay discussion because I am not clear on the instructions for the discussion. All you provided was the topic and partial discussion instruction, which does not help very much in terms of proper work assessment on your essay.

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