Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7

Effects of computers on children/youth

almam 1 / 1  
Nov 19, 2013   #1
Hello Please help me to write my essay , it's about :
What Are The Positive and Negative Effects Of Computers On children and youth ?

I'm not native english speaker and want someone to help me please
trinhan5795 - / 3  
Nov 20, 2013   #2
The best way to do this is to research about the topic before writing it. Beside that, you can link the benefit and dis-benefit of yourself using computer as examples. Basically, your overall essay will contain at least four paragraph. The first introduces about the computers. The second describe the good while the third describe the bad. You have to give examples to support your opinions (for example: computers are good for kids to develop their brain. In 2005, an American University has proven this idea after experiencing tons of computer-users." Finally, the final paragraph is to end the story. Good luck on it. Hope I can help you. And guess what, I'm not a Native English Speaker also.
something 23 / 52 5  
Nov 20, 2013   #3
You could try to find an example from this website that is similar to your topic to make you more understand about writing structure.
I try to post an example link, but I cannot.

OP almam 1 / 1  
Nov 20, 2013   #4
could u pls correct it :

Computer has become a part of almost everyone's life. It has been in discussion for a long time that whether it is good or bad for children. I believe that its virtues are far more than its vices.

The principal reason for considering computers for children in their everyday life is its usefulness in learning new things. There are many software that make difficult concepts of hard and dry subjects easy to absorb. For example, Algebra and Geometry are the two important and toughest concepts of mathematics but the intuitive nature of some good software makes it easy to learn for children. Moreover, the learning is very fast with computers and a child's mind adopts it quickly. To learn new things computers can help a child in various ways.

On the other hand, with use of computer, one can have access to unclassified information content. For example, if a particular child has access to internet, with use of computer, child can easily find intentionally or by mistake the sexually explicit material or profound content like terrorist activities and crime. Result of which can be poor mental and psychological health.

However, without the supervision from adults, children often misuse computers. They are easily attracted to electronic games that tend to be intensed and rather violent. The player is usually the 'hero' of the game and too much exposure will lead children to be self-centred and unsociable.

I could conclude that parents' responsibility should be increased and further observation and restricted rules must be placed to guide children to the proper way of using computer in order to prevent the children from the negative effect of computers.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 7, 2013   #5
could u pls correct it :

This is very well written. You've followed a good structure, excellent grammar and vocabulary, good flow etc. Are you preparing for IELTS or TOEFL? It is good to state this purpose in the title itself so that others can provide you with task related comments.

This is good writing :)
Shahoo 3 / 5  
Dec 8, 2013   #6
Hi guys! i just registered and i`m online for 30 mins but unfortunately i don`t understand anything here, how to post and what THREAT mean i`m literally lost in this site, please explain me how this site works how to post essays. I hope u don`t think i`m stupid or anythink, usually i`m good at things like that :(, but anyway please help me
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 9, 2013   #7
Okkkkkk... you've posted the above response and that's exactly how you should make a comment on someone else's thread. If you want to open a thread for your own to post an essay to get others' feedback, then follow these steps;

1. Login to the site with your userid (Shahoo) and password
2. Click on "New Thread" on the top (right handside)
3. Click on the arrow at "Select Forum" and select the most appropriate forum for your essay. (E.g. if it is an IELTS essay, select Writing Feedback)

4.Type a meaningful title for your essay in the subject field
5. Type your essay in the space allowed for "Message"
6. Once done, click on "Start New Thread"
Hope everything's clear now :)

Home / Writing Feedback / Effects of computers on children/youth