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Effects of modern forms of communication such as email and messaging


Huynh Anh 4 / 6 2  
Oct 21, 2016   #1
I'm an English learning beginner so please help me correct it! I need as many correction as possible to improve my skill. Thanks for your help!

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives.

Going with the development of information technology, electronic message and email become very popular and play an important role in the way people communicate with their friends. However, it is not the reason for the modification of our social lives in the unwanted sides. Even they are better in some circumstances.

Long time ago, people mostly communicated by letters or calling. There were not many changes for them to come and see each other because of not only the distance impediment but also not much free time. Because of those things, sometimes people did not have any opportunities to stay with their relatives and friends. And their relationships are worse as a result.

Nowadays, by using social website, we easily contact with our friends even on around the world after few seconds and instantaneous messaging without going out of our rooms. That leads to the closer relationship between people. For example, in my case, I usually free at nearly midnight after studying time and I do not have my parents' permission to hang out with my friends at that time so email and messaging help me a lot in chatting with my friends through computer without going outside. It is very interesting that I am still in my room but I can talk with them, share my opinions and know what they are doing. On the other hand, in the past, there were not many changes for me to communicate with my friends even in several months no talking.

I think we should not blame modern forms of communication for reducing the people's meeting time. Actually, it increases the opportunities for people to see each other by going outside for doing some activities, picnic or camping by this chances people will have occasions to make friends through their friends.

Overall, I totally disagree with modern modes of communication causes bad effects to human relationship and I strongly believe that in near future social network will bring everybody on around the world stay together.

andika08 81 / 80 16  
Oct 22, 2016   #2
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections for you

... social website, we easily contact with our friends even on in around the world after few secondsas fast as people can and instantaneous messaging ...
That leads to the closer relationship between peopleThe relationship of people is getting closer.
... I usually freehave a time at nearly midnight after studying time and I do not have to ask permission for my parentsmy parents' permission to hang out with my ...

..., share my opinions and know what they are doing.
... were not many changes for me to communicate (...) several months no talkingthat do not have a contact.

I think we should not blame to ...

... around the world stay together.

For better structure in body paragraph you can firstly paraphrasing the idea, reason, example and brief conclusion.

It is better not using 'we, you' in writting essay or summary.


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