IELTS Writing Task 2 : Effects of Technology on people's relationship.

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Technology Affecting Social Life?

Technological achievements are the explicit evidences proving that human beings is the most intelligent on the Earth. From being born, technology has changed a lot and this does have much affects the way people get in touch with each other and in my opinion, It's altering in the positive way.

In the past, it was very difficult for us humans to contact others. It used to take usually 3-4 days to convey a mail to the recipient through the post office's service. So there were a lot of problems which couldn't be resolved immediately. But nowadays, with the advances of technology such as the Internet, mobile phone, we can get in touch with our relatives, friends, colleagues so much more easily. Though the distance may be a half of equator's length, we can e-mail or call up to our acquaintances just in a moment. Besides, we can know what our friends are feeling through their statuses on Facebook or Twitter. We hence cheer with them or console them, depending on the contents of what they have write before. Clearly, the technology is making our relationship closer and closer.

Through the technological inventions, we can easily make friends with others in the world, even they're very far from us. Of course, with the each other's introduction on some social websites., we could know a little about the hobbies or ideals of the person whom we intend to contact. So it may be easier to create a new relationship. For instance, when I started intending to take IELTS, I shared my determination on facebook and I know some new friends who are struggling for the best results in the upcoming test. We exchanged ideas and becomed very close friends. Once a week, we organize a offline meeting to earnestly practice English speaking. It seems to be very effective.

Unsuspiciously, the evolution of technology has influenced the tie between us a lot. It's tighter and tigher when we use in the good way. Thanks to the devotion of the inventors and what they have devised to the human beings.

Hi! I just want to comment on this sentence: technology has changed a lot and this does have much affects[/i] the way people get in touch with each other

does have much [i] is grammatically incorrect. You can use "it has affected"

:)

Thank you Kace! I just want to emphasize that sentence, but now I realize that it's terrible. How about ideas? Is it ok?

also, in IELTS essay, you should give space between each paragraph
as a result, the readers will not feel confuse to catch your points here

Thank you, Dumi. I appreciate that you've already read and given your opinion. I think the approach you give will be very useful. It's nice communicating with you. I wish that we will co-operate more and more.

1. Even your prompt is open for two questions to answer, there is no harm you stating your own opinion in the introduction itself. It is nicer when you conclude the intro with a statement expressing your opinion very clearly. That helps you take the reader in your desired direction.

2. Not separating paragraphs. Your score will immediately drop if you do not separate paragraphs clearly. My advice: leave a full line between paragraphs.

i suggest that u should add some examples to make ur agurement stronger.

You need to pay attention to your essay structure. Follow the approach dumi has suggested. It helps you earn a good score as well as manage time efficiently for this task at the exam. I can see you write very well. However, the organization of paragraphs need lots of improvement. You should at least have 4 paras (as dumi has suggested above) that includes introduction, body paras and a conclusion. Otherwise you may lose lots of marks as your essay is not aligned with their marking criterion.

This approach aims at helping you include all features in your essay (that are essential for scoring ) as well as helping you manage time effectively. This is a time bound task and you need to complete the task without half way done, if you look at a decent score. For that you need to organize your essay in a manner that helps you earn a good score while finishing the task on time. This approach has helped many students to complete the task efficiently and earn a good score. Hope it would help you too :)