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(IELTS ESSAY) Effects of short time work


rombos 4 / 6 2  
Feb 2, 2013   #1
Some people work only for few months a year and take rest of the time off to do whatever they like. To what extent do the advantages of this arrangements outweigh the disadvantages?

In this busy world, many people prefer to labor only for a limited time in a year. This type of working style is welcomed by myriad people, as it has many advantages.

To begin with the advantages, when people work for a short duration and engage in their interested activities for the rest of the time, it helps them to alleviate their stress level. For instance, those who work in coal mine or ship usually takes long break from their job. It actually rejuvenate their mind and make them fit for the next session of their duty.

In addition, this trend helps the employees to spend more time with the family. It improves the family bonding and thereby contributes to the wellbeing of the whole family. For example, working parents can spend much time on looking after their children, which in-turn helps them to mould their children in a socially acceptable manner.

On the other hand, this can affect the economical stability of the family. In other words, the money earned by working for a short period of time, people are unable to meet the needs for the entire year. Moreover, this working style can also affect the economy of the country due to the reduction in the per capita income of its citizen.

From the above discussions, it is clear that working for a short time in a year has more merits than demerits. I hope that in future this type of working schedule may gain much popularity.

beyondmtk 9 / 16 4  
Feb 3, 2013   #2
In this busy world, many people prefer to labor only for a limited time in a year. This type of working style is welcomed by myriad people, as it has many advantages.

==>well, why not trying another word "work "

To begin with the advantages,
==>Honestly, I have never seen any other people use "to begin with" like this.
How about this one;
To begin with, I will talk about the advantages about ...
dumi 1 / 6,933 1592  
Feb 3, 2013   #3
many people prefer to laborwork only for a limited time in a year.

... Pay attention to my correction. This sounds better

To begin with the advantages, when people work for a short duration and engage in their interested activities for the rest of the time, it helps them to alleviate their stress level.

.... sentence is two long and you can easily break it up to two or more :) Or you can sum up present like this;
To begin with people can lead a stress free lives if they work for a limited time. This is a great advantage.

For instance, those who work in coal mines or ships usually takestake long breaks from their job.

.... Pay attention to the corrections I made here.... It is better to have it said in plural form.

Good body paras... You give a very valid reason and present a specific example to support it . Very Good :)


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