Indonesian people are high creative art person that had been famous in other countries. So many evidence from culture that can explain the skills which are full of art technique such as Borobudur temple, Wayang, Gamelan, Batik also. But, how about Indonesian product? Actually array of adolescent in Indonesia have a lot original products which can established into global market, and at the time the world was ready to embrace Indonesian product.
Recently, the goverment of China made one huge exhibition in Shanghai which can cover 750.000 mini square of spaces. That means the authority really doing something to support their economic creative especially young generation local brands. So how about Indonesia? What the goverment do? We can say "Nothing". So that's way Indonesian creator cannot wait and hope with the goverment. And should create an independent Indonesian departement store which can accredit local brands and sell it in there.
Hi Alamsyah
here are my suggestions,
So many evidence from the culture that can explain ...
Actually, array of the adolescent in Indonesia have a lot of original products ...
Recently, the govermentgovernment of China made one huge ...
What the govermentgovernment do?
... cannot wait and hope with the govermentgovernment .
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections
So Thus, many evidence (...) which are full of arts technique such as which are Borobudur temple, Wayang, Gamelan, and Batik also . But However, how about Indonesian product? Actually In fact, array of adolescent in Indonesia have a lot of original products which ...
So , how about Indonesia?
So that's way Indonesian creator cannot ...
You can use Thus or Therefore for the first words in sentences.
you can change actually with in fact or theoretically.
Hallo Alamsyah Ismail . Here I left you a comment. Hope it can help you.
So many evidence from The culture that can explain the ... Gamelan and Batik also. But,(you can use 'however, although, or on the contray' to make a preposition in your essay)Nevertheless , how about Indonesian product?
Actually, array of an adolescent in Indonesia have a lot of (pay attention for preposition) original products which can established establish (after modal you have to put verb) into the global market,...
Recently, the govermentgovernment of China made one ...
What the govermentgovernment do?
... wait and hope with the govermentgovernment .
... an independent Indonesian departementdepartment store which .... ==> sometime you put the word with uncorrect speeling. please look deeply abot that.
Keep writing!!
