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Should elder people live in nursing houses or stay with their family members?


caozeyuan 3 / 9 1  
Jul 7, 2013   #1
Nowadays, the increasing population of older people becomes a problem that many countries need to deal with. People now can live longer than before for due to various reasons. They must be given a decent amount of care so that they do not feel lonely. Living with lots of peers in a beautiful and well-equipped nursing house can be one choice. However, I would advise senior citizens to stay in homes with their family members.

The first reason to address is that now older people are still healthy and active because of advanced medical care and improved life style. Elder people feel that they need to contribute to the community and involve in many activities. If these requirements are not satisfied, then they feel that they are not part of the society, and being excluded. For example, my community just established a resident committee. Most of the members are retired people who want to improve our life in the community. They gather in a hall every week and discuss important issues like building a new gym, and paving sidewalks. By getting involved in activities like that, they contribute to the community and thus gain a sense of fulfillment.

Although living at nursing houses give senior citizens an opportunity to share their stories with peers, they suffers from the loss of family life. Nowadays, elderly people are no longer passive members of a family. They have the capability of shouldering more responsibility after retirement. In fact, the sense of well being for these people depends greatly upon being involved in family duties. For example, my grandmother, over 80 years old now, still cooks lunch for me when I do not need to go to school. My grandfather sweeps the floor and does other chores. They like to take family responsibilities because they feel that they are active members and should get involved in these activities.

As suggested above, living with family members have obvious advantages over living in nursing houses. Elderly people can involve in community and family activities so as to gain a sense of fulfillment and enjoy their life better.

mangdoli 5 / 12 3  
Jul 7, 2013   #2
+ People now can live longer than before for due to various reasons
+They must be given a decent amount of care so that they docan/will not feel lonely
+The first reason to address is that now older people are still (are likely to be) healthy and active because of advanced medical care and improved life style ( are you sure that they STILL healthy ?)

For your first reason you give, you indicate that " older people are still healthy and active because of advanced medical care and improved life style". It's a good main point however your paragraph mention a lot of idea but after reading it, I don't know what exactly why older people live with family. Because of their good health condition or their contribution? Your supporting ideas seems not involved well with the main point.

+ they suffers from the loss of family life
the second point of view and conclusion are good.
I hope that my support can help you.
OP caozeyuan 3 / 9 1  
Jul 7, 2013   #3
Well, actually my first point is that because of their good health, the elderly want to contribute more to the community and this can be achieved more easily by living with their family
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Jul 7, 2013   #4
Nowadays, the increasing population of older people becomes a problem that many countries need to deal with.

Nowadays, the increasing population of older people has become a problem to many countries and they find it is very hard to deal with this issue.

People now can live longer than before for due to various reasons

I think your essay reads better if you interchange these two sentences;
Nowadays, people can live longer than earlier generations due to advancement of the field of medicine and healthcare. As a result, there is an alarming upward trend of aging population which has become a serious issue for many countries to deal with.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 7, 2013   #5
they suffers f

... they suffer / he suffers / she suffers

In fact, the sense of well being for these people depends greatly upon being involved in family duties

.... very true .... these people live on their past memories and being away from their loved ones affect them psychologically.

Elderly people can involve in community and family activities so as to gain a sense of fulfillment and enjoy their life better.

.... good ending
Overall, your essay is pretty good. You follow the appropriate structure too.
Good luck !
OP caozeyuan 3 / 9 1  
Jul 8, 2013   #6
Thanks for all of you who reply tp my essay. You all helped me a lot. My last TOEFL was April and my essay got 26, so do you think this one can get a score higher than 26?


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