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Elephants are in danger because of their ivory tusks, which are a blessing and curse for them


Iedha01 21 / 40  
Sep 17, 2016   #1
Article Summary: A Legal Trade in Ivory Would Wipe Out Elephants, study finds

A researcher at the University of Aberdeen, Lee and David Lusseau stated that used population modeling to determine just how many elephants could be killed for their ivory (because that's the only way to get ivory) before their deaths start causing the population to decrease. Therefore, a study on September 15, supports this opinion that legalizing the ivory market would be able to vanish the elephants population. It discovers which the demanding of ivory is much greater than the amount of ivory that can be harvested sustainability.

Pro and cons are arisen regarding with this issue, some countries or groups who state pro and cons in regarding this issue. Firstly, one of the authors ' by Phylis Lee and a researcher at the University of Stirling in the United Kingdom says elephants are in crisis so there is no method to harvest sufficient ivory, even though, in a controlled way that will not drive elephant populations to extinctions. He gives an example that the poachers in Asia killed 27,000 elephants each year, besides, he emphasizes that they become more organized and professional.

Secondly, there are three nations (Namibia, Zimbabwe, and South Africa) support this legal ivory trade which suggest future trade will be more organized. They offers a process of decision-making mechanism which consist of sourcing ivory from existing government stockpiles of seized illegal ivory,the elephant death naturally, and intentional elephant hunts.

Finally, Lee says this points else to the need to focus in reducing demand on ivory more than anything.

RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Sep 18, 2016   #2
A researcher at the University of Aberdeen,Lee and David Lusseau
= singular/plural issue. there are two researchers there
stated that they used .....

Therefore,in addition , a study on September 15, supportshas supported [pay more attention in the appropriate tenses to use] this opinion that legalizing the ivory market would be able to [you can also say 'possibly/plausibly '] vanish the elephants' population.

It discovers which the demanding of ivory is much greater than the amount of ivory that can be harvested sustainability.

*its discovery prevails that the demand of ivory ......
*it discovers that the demand of ivory.....

actually, this sentence is still quite similar with the original sentence from the article. need more effort to restate it without get affected by the sentence structure of the source

Pro and cons are arisen regarding withto this issue, some countries or groups who state pro and cons [repetition. you may write 'who state their agreement and disagreement] inregarding this issue.

Firstly, one of the authors ' by Phylis Lee and [need comma] a researcher at the University (...) so there is no method to harvest sufficient ivory sufficiently ['sufficient ivory' clearly has different meaning with '...ivory sufficiently' . concern about the sense of the sentence or words] even though, in a controlled way thatit will not drive elephant ...

Secondly, there are three nations (Namibia, Zimbabwe, and South Africa) support this legal ivory ...
They offers a process ofnamed decision-making mechanism (...) ivory from existing government stockpiles of seized illegal ivory...to similar with the article


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