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Article Essay; 'Ellen Goodman has been a journalist'


prttykul 1 / 1  
Oct 31, 2007   #1
I have to critique an article that was giving to the class; I would like to know if I am on the right track for this project. Do I need to add anything else in my paper or have it met the guidelines? Would you please check grammar and mechanics? Thanks for viewing my paper.

Ellen Goodman has been a journalist since she graduated from Radcliffe College. She is a well known writer and was recognized in 1980 with a Pulitzer Prize for distinguished commentary. In her newspaper article entitled "The Company Man." Goodman describes a man who worked himself to death.

This depiction is relatable to many of today's readers because we have all found ourselves being a workaholic to achieve and succeed in our place of employment. This story takes on a specific account of a man totally consumed with work who compromises his personal relationship with his wife and kids, which ultimately leads to his death. Throughout the article, Goodman illustrates brief insights into our company man's strained relationship with his wife, two sons and one daughter. The company man in the story displayed a bad characteristic "selfishness" that his family would not miss. The character left his wife in bad financial position and left her very bitter at the time of his death. I personally believe that both partners should know about their finances, so if anything happens such as death the other partner is not left not knowing. The company man worked hard as a vice president for this company but not as hard on his relationships with his wife and children. The children were left asking neighbors what was their father like; they had no childhood memories of their own to share.

I personally could not devote my entire life to working long hours in the hopes of advancing my career at the expense of my personal family relationship. It's a personal choice-each of us must decide whether to make work or family our priority. Many like to find a healthy balance between both. I hold my personal family ties and relationships more rewarding than my career.

I felt the story was too short. I felt the author did not explain the underlying issues thoroughly. I wanted to know why the company man felt as if he needed to work so much and what made his relationships with his family none existent. Did he have a bad childhood? Was his father also a workaholic? After reading this story I was left asking these questions and wanting more questions answered.

Despite the issue of the story being short, the author did provide some issues to make you think even in our own everyday life. How will your family feel when you pass away? Do you think they will have to go ask your neighbors what type of person you are or will they already know? Would you leave your children without childhood memories? I think the author left these questions for readers of her story to think about.

"The Company Man" concluded with the boss contemplating Phil's replacement with the next hardworking employee. All hardworking people should realize that family and relationships are to be treasured, and that our careers can come and go at 3 a.m. or at the blink of an eye.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Nov 1, 2007   #2
Greetings!

You've written a very good essay! I can't tell you whether it met the guidelines, as you did not include the guidelines. :-) Here are some editing suggestions:

what made his relationships with his family nonexistent.

the author did provide some issues to make you think even in our own everyday life. - It's confusing to use "you" (second person) and "our" (first person plural); pick one voice and stick with it.

go at 3 a.m. or in the blink of an eye.

Good job!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP prttykul 1 / 1  
Nov 7, 2007   #3
Thanks for your help on this essay, I was off track with my writing by way of using 1st person voice instead of 3rd person. My instructor told me to stop writing in 1st person , because it doesn't show creditability in ones writing. So from you adding that little word in (it's confusing) I was able to revised it, still waiting for that paper to come back.

Thanks again
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Nov 8, 2007   #4
You're welcome! Yes, usually in formal writing one sticks to third person; however, I have seen some instructors specifically require the student's own opinion, which requires first person. Without a specific instruction to the contrary, just use third person. :-)

Best of luck with your paper!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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