Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

Being an employee makes people less creative since all of major activity is set by a company.


nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Oct 27, 2016   #1
Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

At present, many people have chosen to become an entrepreneur than decide to be an employee. Some society argue, it will much better if they start their own business and other think become worker-force is better. I tend to stand out for first statement since I believe that the advantages of becoming an entrepreneur stronger than the disadvantages.

As the impact of modern era, there are so many big companies are built. Surely, it needs many employees to work there. This becomes gold chance for job-seeker or fresh graduate who want to improve their self or just get income by working. They can work in company or organization and apply their knowledge from college. For instance, people who study about finance. They will choose to working in companies that relate with their study, such as bank, pawnshop, or in government. It sounds good since they can apply their knowledge, learn new knowledge by work-experience, which is affect to company income as well.

However, working for a company make us do not innovative. In a company, people only ask to do something, what company want and what they have to do. They do not have any chance to improve their personal skills. Taking a design interior as an example. They only do what company ask to do. How to design something, what is designed, all of that are set by company. They cannot make their own style since they have to follow company rules. People become close minded, and over time they will lose their natural ability. Meanwhile, start up make their chance to work independent bigger than be employee.

All in all, be a worker force can make us learn from the big company which have through the hardness of start new business but it makes people become less creative since all of people activity is set by company.

sasariri 17 / 25  
Oct 27, 2016   #2
Hi Nurainiyusuf16..

Let me give you some advice...

They will choose to working in companies(...) which is affected to company income as well.

... make us do not innovativeinnovate .
... what company wants and what they ...
Meanwhile, start up makes their chance to ...

Good Job
alfa7 19 / 26 1  
Oct 27, 2016   #3
Hi Nurainiyusuf16, I want you obtain some suggestions from me

here we go

At present, many people have many chosen to become ...
Some society argue that , it will much better ...

... are so many big companies are built.
... employees to work in there. ThisIt becomes gold chance ...
... company or organization and [you need a gerund or sunject in here] apply their ...

... a company makes us do not innovative.
They only do what the company ask to do.
... since they have to follow the company rules. [you need some conjunction in here] People become close minded, and over time they will lose their natural ability [this santance is too bias ]. M

note: keep writing and go ahead
vinau 2 / 3  
Oct 27, 2016   #4
Hi Nuraini,
I have some advice for you

- Some society argue,argued that it will much better if ...
- They will choose to workingwork in companies that relate withto their study, such as ...
- ... what company wantwants and what they have to do.
- Meanwhile, start upstart-up make their chance (...) than be an employee.
- ... the big company which havehasthrough the hardness of ...

Thank you
Hope it helps :D
MaximKlopunov99 13 / 22 4  
Oct 27, 2016   #5
Hello Nuraini,
I think that you didn't answer the principal question about advantages and disadvantages of self-employment
-In both body paragraphs you talk about big companies
-Although, this sentence could be a good beginning for further development and the evidence of the second opinion
Meanwhile, start up make their chance to work independent bigger than be employee.
-some societysocieties
-their self themselves
- and apply their knowledge from college. F, f or instance, people who study about finance.
- They will choose to working
-such as a bank, a pawnshop, or in government.
- they can apply their knowledge, learn new knowledge ... their knowledge, gain new experience.
-which is affectsto company income as well.
- However, working for a company make us do not innovative.doesn't make us innovative
- skills. T, t aking a design interior as an example.
- all of that are set by a company
- a start up makes their chance to work independentlymore than to be an employee.

Bye-bye.
ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Oct 27, 2016   #6
hai aini, here are my suggestions for your essay

Some societysocieties argue, it will muchbe better if they start their ...

You are good in explanation ainiii
but in my opinion, your essay is out of topic
the question is 'do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?'
we have to focus about the advantages and disadvantages of enterpreneurship but you compared becoming an employee and becoming an enterpreneur


hope it will be helpful


Home / Writing Feedback / Being an employee makes people less creative since all of major activity is set by a company.