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Some employers are giving increased importance to social skills --ielts


Atakeielts 5 / 13  
Feb 16, 2014   #1
As workplaces becoming increasingly competitive nowadays, a greater proportion of the new recruits assessment centre is given to assessments for social skills in addition to good qualifications. To my view, I am convinced that interpersonal skills are equally important as good qualifications.

Workplace is distinctly different from school which success is measured by qualifications. With the self-learning environment at school, students are used to work alone in order to adsorb knowledge more thoroughly. But it is clearly not the case at work where teamwork is required for large project that are nearly impossible to be done by individuals. Despite these projects, cooperation is often needed in daily works as well. Take a merchandise company as an example, accounting department need to get sales data from marketing department in which inter-departmental communication is needed.

It is an undeniable fact that people with good qualifications can themselves achieve high efficiency at workplace. However, if they fail to maintain a harmonious relationship with co-workers as a result of poor interpersonal skills, it is unlikely that the highest workplace effectiveness could be achieved. Only when everyone in the firm is working in the same direction can the highest effectiveness be achieved. Therefore it is important for an employee to have the basic abilities of maintaining friendly relationships with supervisors and colleagues.

To conclude, in addition to having good qualification, it is also important that recruit have mastered necessary social skills in order to succeed in workplace. Ultimately, everyone in the company is working toward the same goal: benefit for the firm as a whole, which requires not only individual abilities, but also cooperation to achieve.

AlanWakeMax 1 / 5 1  
Feb 16, 2014   #2
As workplaces becoming increasingly competitive nowadays

"are becoming" or simply "become"

Workplace is distinctly different from school which success is measured by qualifications.

which success? school success? probably "At the workplace the better your qualifications are, the more success you can achieve, which is different from school" or smth like that

But it is clearly not the case at work where teamwork is required for large project that are nearly impossible to be done by individuals. Despite these projects, cooperation is often needed in daily works as well.

Switch the sentences to add more logical connections. "But it is clearly not the case at work where there is a need in cooperation for everyday job as well as for large single projects"

Only when everyone in the firm is working in the same direction can the highest effectiveness be achieved.

Not sure about word order, sounds a bit wierd...
You could say "The firm can achieve its highest effectiveness only when everyone is working in the same direction."

However, try to avoid the same constructions.

it is unlikely that the highest workplace effectiveness could be achieved . Only when everyone in the firm is working in the same direction can the highest effectiveness be achieved .

towards
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Feb 16, 2014   #3
Workplace is distinctly different from school whichsuccess is measured by qualificationswhere the success of a student is determined by his or her credentials.

With the self-learning environment at school, students are used to work alone in order to adsorb knowledge more thoroughly.

... why do you say schools provide self learning environments? Of course there are teachers in school who guide and assist students in their learning process. This sentence confuses me :(

But it is clearly not the case at work where teamwork is required for large project that are nearly impossible to be done by individuals.

However, in a work place, it is the team work that matters more.
Fardhani Putri 23 / 46 7  
Feb 17, 2014   #4
Hi there...
What's your prompt? because its better if you write your prompt in this essay

With the self-learning environment at school, students are used to work alone in order to adsorb knowledge more thoroughly.

..

why do you say schools provide self learning environments? Of course there are teachers in school who guide and assist students in their learning process. This sentence confuses me :(

.. I confuse too with the sentences.. you have to read the prompt clearly

students are used to work alone in order to adsorb knowledge more thoroughly

.. absorb

it is unlikely that the highest workplace effectiveness could be achieved. Only when everyone in the firm is working in the same direction can the highest effectiveness be achieved.

.. you mention the same meaning in this paragraph..
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 17, 2014   #5
What's your prompt? because its better if you write your prompt in this essay

I agree with putri

can themselves

can as modal should face V1

an undeniable

both them are adjectives
OP Atakeielts 5 / 13  
Feb 17, 2014   #6
Thanks guys :) very useful opinions.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 17, 2014   #7
Include your prompt in the essay so that we can have a better idea about what it requires from you.

It is an undeniable fact that people with good qualifications can themselves achieve high efficiency at workplace. However, if they fail to maintain a harmonious relationship with co-workers as a result of poor interpersonal skills, it is unlikely that the highest workplace effectiveness could be achieved. Only when everyone in the firm is working in the same direction can the highest effectiveness be achieved. Therefore it is important for an employee to have the basic abilities of maintaining friendly relationships with supervisors and colleagues.

Include an example to support your reasoning.
You write very well. This is an impressive essay. If you did this on your own without any help and also within the allocated time, then you are quite ready to take up the task :)
OP Atakeielts 5 / 13  
Feb 18, 2014   #8
sorry forgot about the fact that i couldnt put the complete question in the thread title

the question is: Some employers are giving increased importance to social skills in addition to good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for success in jobs?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 19, 2014   #9
the question is: Some employers are giving increased importance to social skills in addition to good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for success in jobs?

Ok... let's check the alignment :D

As workplaces becoming increasingly competitive nowadays, a greater proportion of the new recruits assessment centre is given to assessments for social skills in addition to good qualifications.

.... I wish you shortened this sentence. Also, it's better if you said this idea in a more simple way because it sounds a bit complicated and contains too much details for the reader to memorize.

As I mentioned above, you write well and it is a matter of aligning your structure more with the required one :)
OP Atakeielts 5 / 13  
Feb 22, 2014   #10
thanks for the comments guys :)


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