Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Employers reward members of staff for their contribution...


nmtuan3497 2 / 3  
Jan 2, 2014   #1
I am a beginner in Ielts. There is one of my initial essays and I really need for your helps.

Topic: Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practise can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others.

To what extent is this style of management effective?
Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?

Essay:
The past 50 years have seen a revolution in economy worldwide. This has brought thousands of pros and cons. One of the key issue is employee situation. When the economy develops, there will be a huge number of company choices. To own the best one, financial support such as giving extra money is necessary. This raise a recent question whether it is the effective way to encourage the employees.

First of all, financial support brings variety of advantages. It is evident that people who are rewarded fell happier. Clearly, they know the employers pay tribute to them as their hard-work, Therefore, they attempt to work better to contribute the firms. In addition, this style of management can make the company grow by create a competition between staffs. In the other words, employees compete with each other to gain the extra money by do their best in the jobs. The companies, at last, develop because everyone has worked effectively.

Conversely, giving extra money to only several staffs brings a vast of negative impacts. What holds the most important is the negative attitude of the employees who are not rewarded. It is undeniable that they fell desperately disappointed because after all contribution they receive nothing. As a result, they do not want to do their best in the jobs or even change company. The firm, therefore, will lost some good staffs.

Instead of financing support, there are many different better ways. For instance, the boss must pay tribute to all the hard work. Whenever doing a good job, employees receive a congratulation immediately. That would be one of the best recompense for them. This is not only an easy but also effective ways to boost the good mood of staffs.

In brief, extra money for the best employees has both benefits as well as problems. However,mental support could be a better choice for managers to encourage their staffs.

The end.
Thanks for all the feedback :)

MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jan 4, 2014   #2
The past 50 years have seen a revolution in economy worldwide. This has brought thousands of pros and cons.

These two sentences are not related to the prompt.

company choices

employment opportunities

To own the best one

This is quite confusing. Do you mean "owning the best company" or "keeping the best employees"?

variety of

a variety of

fell happier

feel happier

as their hard-work

for their efforts

contribute the firms

contribute to their company

by create

by creating,

by do

by doing

after all contribution they receive nothing

they feel that their contributions are not recognized.

will lost

will lose


Home / Writing Feedback / Employers reward members of staff for their contribution...