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Encouraging students to take part in more unpaid community services is always an excellent idea


hungvud 19 / 30 6  
Apr 1, 2013   #1
Hi, Please give me some useful comments on my essay. Thank you very much in advance...

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It has been known for some time that the issue of whether or not people should take part in more Volunteer activities is always a contentious one. Some people suggest that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs, while some argue that it is not necessary. It is my belief that encouraging student to work in community services is always a good idea. The principal reasons for my view are as follow.

First, there are many ways of acquiring social skills that students must have when they develop into adults and doing voluntary activities is one of those. Needless to say, one cannot do these types of activity alone but always with a team, therefore it offers student s a valuable opportunity to learn how to communicate with others, to work in a team, to manage their time and even improve the organizational skills. It also is one the best way to make new friends. Nowadays, unfortunately, teenagers do not have many after-school activities and after-school clubs are not very popular. The youngsters, thus, mostly go home and sit in front of a TV, search web or play computer games. This is not only wasting their time, but detrimental to their health as lacking of physical activities. By working for charitable or community organizations, students are encouraged to do something more creative and participate in more outdoor activities which provide many benefits to both mental and physical health. Beside, the skills gained through these works will not be only important for them to draw on in their later life, but also a valuable asset on the CV which can increase their employability.

Another equally important reason is that volunteering can help to increase students' self-confidence, self-esteem and life satisfaction. If students are doing a voluntary work, they deserve to be proud of themselves as they are doing good things for others and the community, which provides a sense of accomplishment. And the better they feel about themselves, the more likely they are to have a positive view of their life and future goals.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that encouraging students to take part in more unpaid community services is always an excellent idea. However, it does not need to be a compulsory part of high school of programs. The nature of unpaid community service is a voluntary work and volunteering means there is no compulsory

dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Apr 1, 2013   #2
First, there are many ways of acquiring social skills that students must have when they develop into adults and doing voluntary activities is one of those.

.... Looks like you should improve its clarity more;
First, there are many social skills that students need to acquire to become successful in adult life. This type of voluntary activities create many valuable opportunities for a student to learn such social skills.

Nowadays, unfortunately, teenagers do not have many after-school activities and after-school clubs are not very popular...

Here you are talking the opposite to your previous idea. Rather than talking about the opposite, it is better to support first idea with specific reason.

Example;
Team work, communication skills, time management skills are a few to name such skills. Suppose you volunteer for community service at your village. Then you have to work with a set of fellow volunteers and try to achieve a common goal. This naturally teaches you the value of team spirit.
temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Apr 1, 2013   #3
It also is one the best way to make new friends

It also is one the best ways to make new friends

This is not only wasting their time, but detrimental to their health as lacking of physical activities

....as they lack the physical activity.

The nature of unpaid community service is a voluntary work and volunteering means there is no compulsory

...compulsion.
that was a great expression and you have good points. best of luck :)
mhss 18 / 53 18  
Apr 2, 2013   #4
First, there are many ways of acquiring social skills that students must have when they develop into adults and doing voluntary activities is one of those

This could be rephrased as,

First, there are many ways IN WHICH STUDENTS CAN ACQUIRE social skills NEEDED TO BECOME AN ADULT. OUT OF THESE, voluntary activities PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE.


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