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ENGLISH 101 - FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME APA FORMAT


jeremy4sd 1 / -  
Mar 10, 2012   #1
Please help me with a peer review of my paper my English professor says I am a terrible essay writer with unclear thesis and main points. She is always saying where is the BIG 3? support? Thesis? Please help me make this paper better. My Thesis is "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) is one hundred percent preventable; which has an outcome that is one hundred percent irreversable with a life time of consequneces for the child."

Format is APA Rubric= Clear thesis and plan of development in introduction. Paper follows a logical organized pattern, Transitions are utilized, Paper is concise and well-written, Content demonstrates an understanding of topic and related concepts, spelling and punctuation and grammar are accurate, formal language is used throughout paper, conclusion wraps up entire piece effectively.

Please help.

Thank you,

Jeremy
dani21 2 / 5  
Mar 15, 2012   #2
The thesis is supposed to be the heart of your essay after every body paragraph you should have a concluding sentence that ties it all back to the thesis.

im not quite sure on how you would develop 3 distinct points to back up your thesis statement. When writing your thesis rememeber to keep asking yourself "so what?"

so Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is preventable and irreversable.. so what?

this sounds like more of a concluding statement rather than a thesis try and elaborate more on your idea.


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